In another time

Hon PETER FOSS: In speaking to the amendment, I would like to put to bed the concept that, if the house sits earlier, members will get more sleep. That rationale is very much like the daylight saving argument. The amount of sleep we get is determined by the amount of time available between the house’s rising and the time it commences. It is fallacious to say that we will get more sleep if the house starts earlier and rises earlier. It is almost as good an argument as that which claims the curtains will fade because of daylight saving.

Hon Kim Chance: I think I said it would get us home a little earlier.

Hon PETER FOSS: It will get us home a little earlier, but it will get us out of bed a little earlier, so we will come back to Parliament half asleep; we will have the potential for an accident on the way to work rather than on the way home. That is wonderful.

Hon Derrick Tomlinson interjected.

Hon PETER FOSS: Yes, then we would not have to go to bed at all. The government’s reasoning is fallacious in two ways. When I was in practice many years ago, and as the state would not have daylight saving, I started my own daylight saving by coming into the office an hour earlier.

Hon Derrick Tomlinson: And your curtains faded.

Hon PETER FOSS: The funny thing was that I went home at exactly the same time as I did without the daylight saving. I just worked an extra hour every day because the signal to go home was when it went dark.

Hon Kim Chance: Did you find your milk went sour?

Hon PETER FOSS: The milk went terribly sour and the curtains in my car were totally faded, but -

The DEPUTY PRESIDENT (Hon George Cash): Hon Peter Foss is speaking to the issue of the deletion of “2.30 pm” and the substitution of “3.30 pm”. I cannot understand where the milk comes into it, but I will allow a little leeway. In the end, members, Hon Peter Foss is entitled to speak to the amendment, and only that.

Hon PETER FOSS: I was referring not to milk, but to the hour. The change from 2.30 to 3.30 pm will be sensible. The entire concept of starting earlier in order not to sit later is fallacious. The amendment not only has the advantage of enabling a party room meeting of upper house members, which is highly desirable in trying to deal with things, but it gets away from the fallacious argument that starting earlier will provide more sleep. It will not. In fact, I expect the opposite to be the case.

Hon Kim Chance: We are going to agree to the amendment.

Subject: Standing Order 61(a), Sitting Times [Legislative Council - Motion]

Date: 27 April 2005

Hansard reference: pp. 721c - 731a [online (pdf)]

Tags: state government, wa, perth, parliament, daylight savings, dst

Case study

Hon TOM STEPHENS: [...] I do not want to go back to the charcoal and scroll days. I hope there are no Luddites among us who are opposed to new technology. I have been inspired by the leadership of our Presiding Officer, who has made a computer available to himself. I would be concerned if the House were denying the rest of us access to that technology. I have heard that a member who was recently looking for a bookcase in the Parliament was told that there were no funds for bookcases and that if he wanted one he would have to bring in his own. He did.

Hon Derrick Tomlinson: Why would he want a bookcase when there are no books?

Hon TOM STEPHENS: He might want to read a book! We cannot have members reading books! Books are dangerous! They have been responsible for ideas creeping through society! I have heard that someone responsible for these funds for computers has said that funds cannot be allocated to members of Parliament for computers because the members who know how to use them will have an advantage over those who do not.

Hon Graham Edwards: On that basis, I think we should get rid of all our foot heaters!

Subject: Adjournment Debate - Members of Parliament Computers [Legislative Council - Adjournment Debate]

Date: 20 March 1997

Hansard reference: pp. 692 [online (pdf)]

Tags: wa, state government, perth, parliament

The need for direction

Hon DERRICK TOMLINSON: [...] Is this a question of the manner of teaching? Is it a question of content? For example, would it be a contravention of the subclause if a music teacher taught maths, when the person was employed on condition that music only be taught because the person was competent to teach music only? I do not think that would relate to the way a person practises. If the person taught in a way that was too didactic in his or her presentation, as I would have -

Hon Ljiljanna Ravlich: I was just going to say that.

Hon DERRICK TOMLINSON: That is why I used it. I gave Hon Ljiljanna Ravlich a chance to wake up, did I not, sweetheart?

Withdrawal of Remark

The DEPUTY CHAIRMAN (Hon Simon O’Brien): Order! That exchange might have been between the honourable member and Hon Ljiljanna Ravlich, in which case it was unruly. However, if I am being unfair and the honourable member was addressing the Chair, he should not do so using the term “sweetheart”!

Hon DERRICK TOMLINSON: I withdraw my unparliamentary language, Mr Deputy Chairman.

Subject: Western Australian College of Teaching Bill 2003 [Legislative Council - Committee]

Date: 7 May 2004

Hansard reference: pp. 2519b - 2535a [online (pdf)]

Tags: wa, state government, perth, parliament

Twice shy

Hon BRUCE DONALDSON: [...] Anyway, the odontologist showed us the most grotesque bite marks on the anatomies of some people. He said that the Bill had failed to state that the examination of a bite mark on a body must be made within the first 24 hours. He gave us an example of a person who had robbed a bakery overnight and had eaten a piece of chocolate cake. He was able to match the bite mark on the piece of cake to the mouth of the person from whom they had taken the - what do they call it?

Hon Nick Griffiths: Swab?

Hon BRUCE DONALDSON: No, not a swab, it was the bite mark.

Hon Ljiljanna Ravlich: What does it start with?

Hon Derrick Tomlinson: Somebody’s teeth sinking into your skin!

Subject: Committee Reports and Ministerial Statements - Consideration [Legislative Council - Committee]

Date: 5 March 2004

Hansard reference: pp. 525d - 539a [online (pdf)]

Tags: wa, state government, perth, parliament

Grim tales

HON DERRICK TOMLINSON (East Metropolitan) [3.02 pm]: I am not sure how to characterise this Bill. Bearing in mind that the second reading speech summarises the intent of the Bill, if one reads the minister’s second reading speech and loses sight of the Bill itself, it could be characterised as a “Mary Poppins Bill” - a spoonful of sugar makes the medicine go down in the most delightful way. If one is distracted by the eloquence of the second reading speech and does not pay attention to the contents of the Bill, it might be characterised as an “It will not hurt, did it Bill” because a person does not know what he is getting until after he has had it. It is only when the consequences are examined that the person knows what it is that he had. The third way of characterising this Bill -

The CHAIRMAN: Order, members!

Hon DERRICK TOMLINSON: I apologise to honourable members who are trying to carry on with their conversations. My voice does tend to intrude into their conversations but I shall try to reduce its timbre.

Hon Nick Griffiths: I can assure Hon Derrick Tomlinson that I was listening to his every word. I know that he, like I did, enjoyed the Mary Poppins movie many years ago and a spoonful of sugar does help the medicine go down. There is another long word I could use but I will not say it because I might get it wrong.

Hon DERRICK TOMLINSON: The minister cannot help but listen to what I have to say because the whole world hears what I say. I want to make sure he absorbs what I have to say.

The third way of characterising this Bill is as the “Little Red Riding Hood Bill”.

Hon Nick Griffiths: And you are the big bad wolf.

Hon DERRICK TOMLINSON: No, I am Little Red Riding Hood. Members know what happened to Little Red Riding Hood. On her way to Grandma’s house, with the express warning from her mother to beware of the wolf in the woods, poor Little Red Riding Hood was spied on by the wolf in the woods. Instead of the wolf jumping out and doing what wolves do to little maidens in the wood, he decided to go to Grandma’s house and disguise himself as someone else. He disguised himself as Grandma and decided to impose an intelligence test upon Little Red Riding Hood.

Hon Nick Griffiths: You are the big bad wolf.

Hon DERRICK TOMLINSON: No, I am Little Red Riding Hood. As we all know, the big bad wolf did something to Grandma - stuffed her into the cupboard or under the bed - and then dressed himself in her nightclothes and jumped into her bed. Totally oblivious to this, Little Red Riding Hood came into the house, saw Grandma in bed and said “Oh Grandma, what big eyes you have.” Grandma responded by saying “All the better to see you with, my dear.” Little Red Riding Hood failed the first test. She then said “Oh Grandma, what big ears you have.” Grandma responded “All the better to hear you with, my dear” and Little Red Riding Hood failed the second test. Can members imagine the situation; there is a wolf in the bed with more hair on his face than Hon Frank Hough or Hon Simon O’Brien and Little Red Riding Hood does not even twig that Grandma is a wolf; she must have been the original bimbo. Eventually Little Red Riding Hood said “Oh Grandma, what big teeth you have.” At that stage the wolf jumped out of bed, exposed himself, Little Red Riding Hood screamed, the woodman came in, dispatched the wolf and carried off Little Red Riding Hood. This Bill is a “Little Red Riding Hood Bill”.

Subject: Fire and Emergency Services Legislation Amendment Bill 2001 [Legislative Council - Second Reading]

Date: 19 September 2002

Hansard reference: pp. 1253b - 1257a [online (pdf)]

Tags: wa, state government, perth, parliament

Farewell to a free speech...

THE PRESIDENT (Hon J.A. Cowdell): Normally on a Thursday we would proceed to the consideration of committee reports, but we do not have any reports for consideration. Before we proceed to orders of the day I have a commercial. I have been advised that all Council proceedings are now videotaped and that members may order a copy of their speeches at a cost of $22 each, or a copy of Hon Peter Foss’s speech if they did not get the point earlier in the day.

Hon Derrick Tomlinson: For $66.

The PRESIDENT: I inform members of that excellent service that is now available.

Subject: Videotaping of Proceedings [Legislative Council - Statement by President]

Date: 21 June 2001

Hansard reference: pp. 1285 [online (pdf)]

Tags: wa, state government, perth, parliament

Old hoons

HON DERRICK TOMLINSON (East Metropolitan) [7.47 pm]: [...] Every time I drive down Onslow Road these days I find myself driving at 44 kilometres an hour.

Hon Graham Giffard: It happens when you get old.

Hon DERRICK TOMLINSON: No, it does not happen when people get old; it happens when good behaviour is positively reinforced.

Hon Graham Giffard: My mother does 44 kilometres an hour everywhere.

Hon DERRICK TOMLINSON: If I were the member’s mother I would be very cautious too, because look what happened once when she was not paying attention

[...]

HON DERRICK TOMLINSON (East Metropolitan) [7.47 pm]: [...] I have heard reference to hoons and burnouts. I think I know what a burnout is. I have seen young people do burnouts. I am not quite sure what a hoon is. I went to the Oxford English Dictionary, and the nearest definition I could get to “hoon” was “hooligan”. A “hooligan” is the name given to Irishmen of south London who were associated with ruffian groups. I do not know whether “hoon” is an abbreviation of “hooligan”, but there is no reference to hoons in the dictionary. I understand that these hoons do burnouts in particular places in Perth, such as the car park at Scarborough Beach. I understand also that these hoons do drag-racing along Leach Highway and in Rockingham.

Hon Jim Scott: I think a hoon is a hooligan at speed.

Hon DERRICK TOMLINSON: I see. I do not know who they are. All I know is that I can recall as a 16 or 17-year-old fellow meeting a group of my peers every Friday night at the Bright Spot at Sandringham Hill. They were not called hoons. They were called the boys. The boys used to meet at the Bright Spot, and they all drove hotted-up 1936 Ford V8s -

Hon Peter Foss: Great stuff!

Hon DERRICK TOMLINSON: They were. I saw one being driven on the road ahead of me just the other day. It was an absolutely beautiful vehicle - a hotted-up 1936 Ford V8. The boys would stand around getting high on hamburgers. They were real hamburgers in those days - not Kentucky Fried hamburgers, but real hamburgers. [...] We are told that these hoons are driving these $50 000 vehicles and are doing burnouts in the car park at Scarborough Beach, and are racing along Leach Highway at three o’clock in the morning and are a danger to everyone else on the road. Anyone who is on the road at three o’clock in the morning would need to explain why he or she is there. As for people in the car park at Scarborough Beach, I do not know that that represents a threat to life and limb on the road. These hoons are doing exactly what the boys of my acquaintance were doing.

Subject: ROAD TRAFFIC AMENDMENT (IMPOUNDING AND CONFISCATION OF VEHICLES) BILL 2004 (WA Legislative Council, second reading)

Date: Tuesday, 1 June 2004

Hansard reference: pp. 3064d — 3076a [online (PDF)]