Disorganised religion

Mr R.F. JOHNSON: [...] In Western Australia, people can commit a crime and be fined, but they will not need to pay the fine, and they will not go to prison! That is the new slogan from the Attorney General! I am sure the Attorney will get the criminals’ vote, because anything that will save them money they will vote for.

Mr R.C. Kucera: People in prison do not get a vote.

Mr R.F. JOHNSON: Not all the criminals are in prison.

Mr R.C. Kucera: No. They are in car parks.

Mr R.F. JOHNSON: I would not go down that track if I were the member! The member should not start talking about these things, because he might leave himself wide open! God said: come unto me with clean hands. That is what God would be saying to the member for Yokine.

Mr T.G. Stephens: I do not remember that! Where is that in the scriptures?

Mr R.F. JOHNSON: In other words, the member for Yokine should not make accusations. Unless he is as white as the driven snow -

Mr T.G. Stephens: What section of the scriptures is that from?

Mr R.F. JOHNSON: It is from the “Johnson Bible”. It is saying that we should avoid hypocrisy. The member may not understand the subtlety of the meaning -

Mr T.G. Stephens: I would stick to the authorised version if I were you!

Mr R.F. JOHNSON: I am happy to explain it to the member. My colleague, who I believe was going to go into a monastery at one time -

Mr T.G. Stephens: No. You have got that wrong.

Mr R.F. JOHNSON: That is what I heard.

Mr T.G. Stephens: Well, you got it wrong.

Mr R.F. JOHNSON: I thought the member was going to be a monk or something.

Mr T.G. Stephens: No. It was something much more profound than that.

Mr R.F. JOHNSON: What was the member going to be?

Mr T.G. Stephens: What was I going to be?

Mr R.F. JOHNSON: Yes - when the member grows up! What was the member going to be when he grew up?

Mr T.G. Stephens: Sorry. I am missing the question.

Mr R.F. JOHNSON: What was the member going to be? The member was going to be something in a religious order.

Mr T.G. Stephens: Was I? You are telling the story. You have got it all wrong.

Mr R.F. JOHNSON: That is what I was told.

Mr T.G. Stephens: You have got it all wrong so far. However, this is off the point. You have digressed by your misquoting of the sacred scriptures -

Mr R.F. JOHNSON: No. I am just quoting from the “Johnson Bible”, which says that God said: come unto me with clean hands. The meaning of that is that if we want to lay a complaint against someone, we should make sure we have clean hands ourselves - we might have some tomato ketchup on our hands, or something!

Mr T.G. Stephens: The thing I have learnt about you is that when you have nothing to say, you become desperate for interjections!

Mr R.F. JOHNSON: Not at all. I am just having a bit of fun. I have just said that I have virtually completed my remarks. If the member for Yokine had not interjected on me, I probably would have finished by now. The member for Central Kimberly-Pilbara then interjected on me, and I could not resist -

Mr C.J. Barnett: It is nearly Christmas! You can make your Christmas speech now!

Mr R.F. JOHNSON: My Christmas speech will come later!

Subject: Fines Legislation Amendment Bill 2006 [Legislative Assembly - Second Reading]

Date: 28 November 2006

Hansard reference: pp. 8857c - 8875a [online (pdf)]

Tags: wa, state government, perth, parliament, bible, religion

Applied economics

Mr M.W. TRENORDEN: [...] Employing security staff is an extra cost for show organisers. I have to disagree with my good mate the member for Wagin; there is too much security at the Dowerin Field Day. In that situation, we do not need that level of security. However, if the organisers are expecting 200 people to turn up at the bar, there has to be X number of security. That is an enormous cost. In addition, where will we find that level of security staff? It is a good thing I have run out of voice.

Mr G. Snook: We will have to get the Irish barmaid to check you out.

Mr M.W. TRENORDEN: I wish you would. I am still single, so I am allowed to be checked out.

Mr G. Snook: There is a big problem.

Mr M.W. TRENORDEN: It has something to do with supply and demand!

Mr G. Snook: You are getting your ambitions mixed up with your capabilities.

Mr M.W. TRENORDEN: Exactly. We will not go down that road and waste 30 seconds of the poor barmaid’s time!

Subject: Liquor and Gaming Legislation Amendment Bill 2006 [Legislative Assembly - Second Reading]

Date: 17 October 2006

Hansard reference: pp. 7050b - 7094a [online (pdf)]

Tags: wa, state government, perth, parliament

Politics, on the edge...

Ms MacTIERNAN: [...] In a number of the cases I brought to this Parliament, the government agencies - that is, the Real Estate and Business Agents Supervisory Board, the Settlement Agents Supervisory Board, the ministry - point blank refused to provide any assistance whatsoever to the elderly people who had been defrauded of every penny they had. Lawyers - even some from the most conservative legal firms in this State - were so horrified by the travesty that had been perpetrated by the failure of the Minister's department and agencies to deal with it, that they acted on a pro bono basis for these clients.

Mr Shave: What do you mean by that?

Ms MacTIERNAN: I will translate it: It means free of charge.

Mr Riebeling: The lead singer with U2!

Subject: Real Estate and Business Agents Amendment Bill [Legislative Council - Second Reading]

Date: 8 April 1998

Hansard reference: p. 1709 [online (pdf)]

Tags: state government, parliament, perth, wa, bono

You know you're going to at least search for him in the contact directory now

Mr A.J. SIMPSON: [...] I also mentioned that people are able to contact me via MSN. The idea behind using MSN was that it was the latest way of getting in touch with people. I can also be contacted by SMS, which is how many kids communicate. It is kind of a shame, because people will probably lose their communication skills by using SMS. The beauty of e-mail and SMS is that one can choose whether to answer a message today or tomorrow. It is not like the phone ringing and having to talk to someone. That is the way kids communicate these days. I thought that if I could provide this service, I might be able to capture more of the youth market as a member of Parliament. It would enable them to talk to me and me to talk to them and hopefully answer their questions. I probably average a dozen messages a week. Some weeks I get a lot and other weeks I get only two or three. I am sometimes asked straightforward questions. One kid asked me the other day about how to get a skate park in his area. [...] After about a 20-minute conversation, this kid knew a lot more about politics, how the system works and how to chase up getting a skate park. He probably cannot vote for me for another four or five years, but that is beside the point. I think he was happy to do that.

Mr A.D. McRae: He would be a Labor voter anyway.

Mr A.J. SIMPSON: I do not know. If he is using the Internet and telecommunications, he is probably more likely to be a Liberal voter.

Mr M.P. Murray: Do you know the difference between a Labor voter and a computer? With computers you only have to punch in the information once.

Subject: Criminal Code Amendment (Cyber Predators) Bill 2005 [Legislative Assembly - Motion]

Date: 8 November 2005

Hansard reference: pp. 6891b - 6907a [online (pdf)]

Tags: wa, state government, perth, parliament, msn

Yokine and context - sometimes irrelevant, often quotable

MR M.J. COWPER (Murray) [5.43 pm]: [...] A situation developed back in 2003 for New Zealanders. I take a bit of an issue with members of the house who said today that New Zealanders usually copy what happens in Australia. I enjoy from time to time - particularly when the rugby is on - giving our Anzac cousins across the Tasman Sea a bit of a touch up, particularly the wife of one of my best mates who is of Kiwi origin. I enjoy from time to time giving them a bit of a going over, just for the fact that they are Kiwis. Whether we are Kiwi or Australian, it is almost a traditional sport to beat up on each other.

Mr R.C. Kucera: Do you realise what you have just said about your mate’s wife?

Mr M.J. COWPER: What; that she was a Kiwi?

Mr R.C. Kucera: No, before that.

Mr M.J. COWPER: I have no idea.

Mr J.C. Kobelke: Check it in Hansard.

Mr M.J. COWPER: I will check it in Hansard and have a bit of a laugh. Okay? However, I can assure the member for Yokine that there was nothing -

An opposition member interjected.

Mr M.J. COWPER: The member for Yokine needs to get his mind out of the gutter.

Mr R.C. Kucera: I wasn’t having a shot. I don’t think you realise what you said.

Subject: Road Traffic Amendment Bill 2006 [Legislative Assembly - Second Reading]

Date: 29 November 2006

Hansard reference: pp. 8958b - 8983a [online (pdf)]

Tags: wa, state government, perth, parliament

Making friends for Nigel

HON PETER COLLIER (North Metropolitan) [11.21 am]: The debate on the Daylight Saving Bill (No. 2) 2006 has consumed a considerable amount of time of this house and I do not intend to go through every issue that was raised. There has been an enormous amount of uniformity in the issues that have been presented. I thank members for their contribution to this debate.

Hon Ken Travers: Felsy introduced new arguments.

Hon PETER COLLIER: Arguments on both side of the daylight saving issue are valid. However, an issue such as daylight saving ignites passion like very few others. People feel very passionate about daylight saving. Unfortunately, it impacts upon relationships and friendships. I know that it has seriously tested my friendships.

Hon Ljiljanna Ravlich: It would not mean much.

Hon PETER COLLIER: I am talking about friendships not inside this chamber, but outside the chamber.

Several members interjected.

Hon PETER COLLIER: That is right, I am a Nigel-no-friends. Call me Nigel!

Subject: Daylight Saving Bill (no. 2) 2006 [Legislative Council - Second Reading]

Date: 16 November 2006

Hansard reference: pp. 8335b - 8376a [online (pdf)]

Tags: wa, state government, perth, parliament, daylight saving, dst

Avoiding the temptation of posting just the reply

Mr R.C. KUCERA: [...] When people are reported and the police act on it, 99 times out of a 100 they will admit to the police that this occurred and the necessity to go to court is no longer there. The worst thing we can do to a hoon is not fine him-

Mr R.F. Johnson: Will you move your microphone, because it is rubbing against something?

Mr R.C. KUCERA: I am sorry. I am playing with it.

Mr R.F. Johnson: It sounds like you have indigestion.

Mr R.C. KUCERA: As a matter of fact I have.

Subject: Road Traffic Amendment Bill 2006 [Legislative Assembly - Second Reading]

Date: 29 November 2006

Hansard reference: pp. 8958b - 8983a [online (pdf)]

Tags: parliament, perth, state government, wa

Before Greenough, there was...

MR OMODEI (Warren-Blackwood) [12.53 pm]: It is grand final time again in the lower south west and I have penned the following prose, with apologies to Banjo. It goes like this -


It was somewhere down the country in the land of tall, tall trees,
They formed an institution called “The Lower South West Football League.”
The stock are hard and tough and wiry, the types that never say die,
From stockmen, cauli growers, tree pluckers, spud growers, timbermen, with an odd Greenie thrown in just to have a try.
It is the mill town boys again, Southerners from Pembi, Northcliffe and Quinninup and Deanmill,
From Manji, the Mill and Dingup who will fight this battle royal till they die.
Then there will be the umpires, their eyes dull, their heads flat, with absolutely no brains at all, all trying to ruin the game.
The boys from the tall timber country will make the AFL look tame.
It will be hard and rough and bloody as the struggle ebbs and flows,
The result of the battle still no-one knows.
And all the cracks will gather for the fray,
The oldies from Pembi, there will be Cooda, Foxy, Dan, Luz, Stoich, Ginge and Johnno and maybe Flick and Johnny T. too.
From the Mill there will be Harv, Boomer, Massey, Spiro, Peo, and maybe Cooky and Tutty too, hoping to see the game through.
But when all the dust has settled and the siren sound long gone,
It will be Giaco, Gibbo and the East and Moloney boys fighting for the glory,
Or Della, Gilly, Cozzi, the Ditas and all the Ohs who will be victorious.
And when all the dust has settled and all the supporters gone home,
The Deanmill and the Southerners boys will crack a can or two and reflect upon the game.


I wish brothers Danny and Peter Lunardi all the best for the game on Sunday. I think it will be a great event.

Subject: Lower South West Football Grand Final [Legislative Assembly - Statement]

Date: 20 September 2001

Hansard reference: p. 4126 [online (pdf)]

Tags: wa, state government, perth, parliament, omodei, prose, football

You've heard it before, but it's still amusing

HON SIMON O’BRIEN (South Metropolitan) [11.05 am]: [...] It is argued that this new law will keep people out of the criminal justice system. Yet, the Opposition has already demonstrated in this place and elsewhere that the model for this policy has produced the opposite result in its home jurisdiction of South Australia. No matter how much minor tweaking one does around the edges of that model, it is an egg that cannot be repaired. The Gallop Labor Government continues to be in denial over these matters. Persistence in certain circumstances can be an admirable quality; however, obstinate persistence in the face of overwhelming evidence of folly is not. The following exchange took place off Newfoundland in the North Atlantic in October 1995 between Canadian authorities and the United States Navy. It commenced with the Canadians sending the following signal by radio -

Canadians: Please divert your course 15 degrees to the South to avoid a collision.

Americans: Recommend you divert your course 15 degrees to the north.

Canadians: Negative. You will have to divert your course 15 degrees to the South to avoid a collision.

Americans: This is the Captain of a US Navy ship. I say again, divert your course.

Canadians: No. I say again, you divert your course.

Americans: This is the aircraft carrier USS Lincoln, the second largest ship in the United States Atlantic Fleet. We are accompanied by three destroyers, three cruisers and numerous support vessels. I demand that you change your course 15 degrees North. I say again, that’s one five degrees North, or counter-measures will be undertaken to ensure the safety of this ship.

Canadians: We are a lighthouse. Your call.

The Gallop Labor Government is in charge of the ship of state, and it is heading for the electoral rocks on this matter. It is blind to the warnings of experience. It is deaf to the entreaties of reason. Hon Ljiljanna Ravlich, as the parliamentary secretary representing the minister who has responsibility for this Bill, has tried to interject, and I have ignored her, but I -

Hon Ljiljanna Ravlich: There is no way that we can be heading for the electoral rocks with you in opposition!

The PRESIDENT: Order! I commend the actions of the member who has the call in ignoring unruly interjections.

Subject: Cannabis Control Bill 2003 [Legislative Council - Second Reading]

Date: 14 May 2003

Hansard reference: pp. 7606b - 7622a [online (pdf)]

Tags: wa, perth, parliament, state government, lighthouse, navy

You know they're getting computer savvy when...

Hon SIMON O’BRIEN: Let us go straight to the serious matter of this bill. There is an age-old question of whether the word in the title should be “preventive” or “preventative”. The minister is just bursting to explain why we have gone for the over-the-top, extra-syllabic “preventative” rather than “preventive”, and I look forward to him telling us why, as the committee report asked about it.

Hon Ljiljanna Ravlich: Do they mean the same?

Hon SIMON O’BRIEN: According to the Oxford English Dictionary, it is “preventive”, but Hon Ljiljanna Ravlich should check it on Google.

Hon Ljiljanna Ravlich: No, I’ll leave that with you!

Hon SIMON O’BRIEN: There is never a 12-year-old kid around when one needs one!

The DEPUTY CHAIRMAN: Does the member not know how to google?

Hon SIMON O’BRIEN: I might google but only when it is near the time!

Subject: Terrorism (Preventative Detention) Bill 2005 [Legislative Council - Second Reading]

Date: 22 August 2006

Hansard reference: pp. 4880c - 4899a [online (pdf)]

Tags: parliament, perth, state government, wa, google, definitions

Stumping chance

MR B.K. MASTERS (Vasse) [4.33 pm]: [...] It is my view that the Premier is Western Australia’s equivalent of Shane Warne. Shane Warne is very clever at spin, bearing in mind his 491 test wickets - he will probably take a lot more - but what is happening when neither Shane Warne nor the Premier are on the field? When we look at what they are doing when they are not spinning, so to speak, I think we will understand that both the Premier and Shane Warne are doing things with their messages - in Shane Warne’s case by SMS messages on the phone and in the Premier’s case in a whole range of other ways - that are less than honourable. For example, the Premier in so many of his activities blames everyone but his own Government for the Government’s inability to solve problems and to deal with the important issues of the State. Instead, the Government and the Premier go off and spin into all sorts of different, irrelevant and largely illusory issues.

I do not want to talk in any detail about Shane Warne’s apparent lack of -

Dr G.I. Gallop: I was a leg spin bowler, and I can bowl a wrong’un too.

Mr B.K. MASTERS: “You’re a better man than I am, Gunga Din!” - at least on the cricket field!

I do not wish to comment on Shane Warne’s apparent long-term commitment to his wife, but I note that the Premier in this case should in theory be married to both the union movement and to WA’s working class. However, the Premier and the Australian Labor Party - this Government - are now wedded to anyone who will deliver them green votes and to anyone who is associated with the antidevelopment chardonnay-sipping socialist set. They have left their roots behind. I could make some puns about that, but I will not. Unfortunately I have to accuse the Premier of being WA’s equivalent of Shane Warne.

Mr P.B. Watson: A winner!

Mr B.K. MASTERS: The member for Albany should think about what he is saying. Like the famous cricketer, the Premier’s spin is now being shown for what it really is - a distraction from his real job, which is to govern Western Australia for the betterment of all Western Australians. Unfortunately, on this issue of Ningaloo and Mauds Landing the Premier is spinning, spinning, spinning on a -

Mr R.N. Sweetman interjected.

Mr B.K. MASTERS: Maybe a stump, but he is on a very sticky wicket. I am pleased to say that finally the media is starting to understand the rules by which he plays his game.

Subject: Ningaloo Reef Coastline [Legislative Assembly - Motion]

Date: 13 August 2003

Hansard reference: pp. 9895b - 9918a [online (pdf)]

Tags: wa, state government, perth, parliament, cricket, warnie, spin, gallop

Greenough said...

66. Mr G.A. WOODHAMS to the minister representing the Minister for Education and Training:

Before I ask this question I acknowledge the presence in the public gallery of some of the constituents from the seat of Merredin. I welcome them to the house.

I refer to a media statement of 11 April 2003 in which the previous Minister for Education and Training, Hon Alan Carpenter, promised to “revolutionise remote learning” by installing specialised telecommunication systems in the homes of all children studying through the School of the Air and Schools of Isolated and Distance Education at no cost to families.

[... asks six part question ...]

The SPEAKER: Order! I think most people in this place would consider that question far too long. If the member for Greenough wants detailed answers to questions such as those, he might like to consider putting his questions on notice. I presume notice of the question has been given.

Mr A.J. CARPENTER replied:

Some notice has been given of the question. It is an absolute delight for me to be asked a question by the member for Greenough. Is it the new member for Greenough’s first question in Parliament? I will not bore the house, but I find it interesting. We go back a long way. He was my school captain when I started my first year in high school at Albany High School. An explanation attached to this question is building! He and I have known each other for years; we worked together at the ABC and Channel 7 when it was called TVW 7 - a magnificent place to work in those days. More importantly, we were members of a very inclusive band of supporters of Subiaco Football Club who went to every home and away game. When we were contemplating what were the silliest things to yell out, he rose to the occasion with a cry that has not been surpassed and yelled out - he might want to finish this - “Oobie, doobie” -

Mr G.A. Woodhams: Come on Subi!

Several members interjected.

Mr A.J. CARPENTER: No catchcry has ever taken root like that. It echoes around the grounds of the WAFL today, even though no-one is there to yell it out! The players are waiting for it! Where is it? It was absolutely magnificent.

I asked the member for Greenough to please ask me a question. Consistent with his character, he has asked six questions, none of which I can answer, even though, to be fair, he gave notice at 12.10 pm today! I am no longer the Minister for Education and Training, and I know that is regretted by 25 000-odd state school teachers; they lie awake at night wishing I was back, just as I wish for the echoes of “Oobie, doobie”!

Subject: Home-Based Remote Students [Legislative Assembly - Questions Without Notice]

Date: 7 April 2005

Hansard reference: pp. 551b - 551b [online (pdf)]

Tags: greenough, carpenter, subi, parliament, perth, state government, wa

No tackle, however

MR McGOWAN (Rockingham) [9.32 pm]: I will be handling this Bill on behalf of the Government because the Minister for Agriculture, Forestry and Fisheries is a member of the other place and his representative in this Chamber, his parliamentary secretary, the member for Cockburn, is absent and will not be able to deal with it.

Mr Carpenter: There is something fishy about that.

Mr McGOWAN: That could be true. Maybe he is the one that got away.

Mr Carpenter: Just as long as you do not attempt to gut the Bill; I am only baiting the member and he has taken it hook, line and sinker.

Mr McGOWAN: There is no doubt about that -

Mr Carpenter: What I am afraid of is that he is completely out of his depth.

Mr McGOWAN: There is no doubt that the Minister for Education is all washed up.

Mr Carpenter: What we need here is protection against the sharks in this region, so I hope that that is included in the Bill.

The DEPUTY SPEAKER: The member for Rockingham might like to address the second reading.

Mr Carpenter: He is having a whale of a time.

Mr McGOWAN: I am looking forward to getting on with the Bill. It is very interesting and listening to the Minister for Education -

Mr Carpenter: He might be looking forward to it, but he is behaving like a stunned mullet.

Mr McGOWAN: The Minister for Education is behaving like an old fishwife in his remarks about this Bill.

Subject: Fish Resources Management Amendment Bill 2001 [Legislative Assembly - Second Reading]

Date: 12 December 2001

Hansard reference: p. 7048 [online (pdf)]

Tags: fish, sharks, puns, parliament, perth, state government, wa

I'm guessing you didn't like "budget pie".

Mr F.M. LOGAN: I suggest the member for Greenough shut up; he is a boofhead.

Mr G. Woodhams: Thank you for being polite, member.

Mr F.M. LOGAN: He should just shut up; he is not making sense at all.

Subject: Daylight Saving Bill (No. 2) 2006 [Legislative Assembly - Standing Orders - Suspension]

Date: 31 October 2006

Hansard reference: pp. 7886b - 7952a [online (pdf)]

< insert sound fx here >

Hon PAUL LLEWELLYN: [...] Without exception the debate on the voting system occurred as a line item. I am not drawing too much of a conclusion; I am merely saying that that was the line of inquiry that I undertook. The Greens wrote to the councils that had written to us. We were transparent about the fact that on principle we support proportional preferential voting. However, we told them that we are interested to hear their substantial arguments. When the Standing Committee on Environment and Public Affairs investigates the bill, the various proponents will be able to outline their issues and concerns. Was that the Leader of the House? I hope that Hansard caught that yawn. It was a very deep yawn. I wonder how that will be reflected in Hansard.

Hon Peter Collier: He’s as subtle as a flamethrower!

Hon PAUL LLEWELLYN: I am sorry to have bored the Leader of the House so much! Nevertheless, I will continue with my comments.

Subject: Local Government Amendment Bill 2006 [Legislative Council - Motion (Instruction to Committee of the Whole)]

Date: 23 November 2006

Hansard reference: pp. 8727c - 8743a [online (pdf)]

Tags: state government, wa, perth, parliament, yawn, flamethrower

After the First Test, England might need the Liberal approach...

493. Mr P.B. WATSON to the Minister for Local Government and Regional Development:

Can the minister tell the house whether the sale of Telstra will offer any security of services for Western Australia?

Mr J.J.M. BOWLER replied:

I thank the member for Albany for the question and point out that he looks a bit bleary-eyed. He must have stayed up late last night watching that fantastic contest in which the king of spin bowled his balls down the wicket, with little leg breaks and sliders, and the occasional top spinner, only to be thwarted by one batsman. Members may think I am talking about Shane Warne and Kevin Pietersen, but no, I am talking about the great king of spin in Australia, John Howard, and the one person who will stand up to him, Barnaby Joyce. Barnaby just hits John Howard back over his head. While the rest of the Liberal Party seems to be bamboozled by the king of spin’s little leggies, Barnaby plays them as they are back over his head - another six, Barnaby! While the Liberal Party in Western Australia is playing like Colin Cowdrey and Geoff Boycott, just poking out the pad, occupying the benches and doing nothing, there is Barnaby, just showing them what they can do. I had given up hope for the other side, but all of a sudden over the weekend the former wonder king, Hon Norman Moore, that great batsman from the past - he is past his peak now and probably will not get back into the first XI - suddenly found a bit of form. Suddenly Hon Norman Moore started hitting John Howard; he started saying that he could read his spin and he was going to start hitting the ball for Western Australia. I just hope that the Liberal senators - Judith Adams; Ian Campbell -

A government member interjected.

Mr J.J.M. BOWLER: Exactly - who are they? - Alan Eggleston; Chris Ellison; David Johnston, a former mate of mine from Kalgoorlie; and Ross Lightfoot - will take a leaf out of the batting efforts of Barnaby Joyce and not the Colin Cowdreys on the opposition benches here. They are just occupying the benches. They have not scored a run for a long time. I hope those senators will start doing what they are supposed to do and go in to bat for Western Australia.

Subject: Telstra Sale, Security of Telecommunications Services [Legislative Assembly - Questions Without Notice]

Date: 13 September 2005

Hansard reference: pp. 5157b - 5157b [online (pdf)]

Tags: wa, state government, perth, parliament, cricket, spin, ashes

Actually it's quite desirable for potential developers

Hon ANTHONY FELS: [...] Submissions about those issues ought to be made, considered and addressed before we have daylight saving for three years, and possibly beyond. Referring this bill to the Standing Committee on Legislation will give us that opportunity.

[...]

The committee must also consider the impact that daylight saving will have on migration to Western Australia. [...] One argument that has been presented in favour of daylight saving is that WA now has hundreds of thousands of new Western Australians who were not here 15 years ago. Those people have come from places such as England, which has daylight saving. The committee can determine whether those emigrants would have come to Western Australia if we had daylight saving. It may also consider what other groups of people we might be able to attract to WA. Western Australia is enjoying an unprecedented boom economically; indeed, property values are rising despite the fact that we do not have daylight saving.

Several members interjected.

The PRESIDENT: Order, members! There are too many interjections. Hon Anthony Fels has been given direction about what he can and cannot say. He has been keeping within those reasonable bounds; however, when he has strayed, I have had cause to pull him up. I do not need members to interject and thus prolong the debate unnecessarily.

Hon ANTHONY FELS: Another issue that must be considered is Western Australia’s location in relation to cities in the eastern states. [...] Many cities in the world have daylight saving. Perhaps it is worth looking beyond the convenience of being able to ring someone in Sydney or Melbourne an hour earlier. A committee will be able to consider how daylight saving will impact on our communications with other cities in the world. I note that Baghdad has daylight saving. However, that does not necessarily make Baghdad a great place to live.

Hon Kate Doust interjected.

Hon ANTHONY FELS: Perhaps Hon Kate Doust should be on the committee.

Subject: Daylight Saving Bill (no. 2) 2006 [Legislative Council (second reading)]

Date: 16 November 2006

Hansard reference: pp. 8335b - 8376a [online (pdf)]

Tags: state government, wa, perth, parliament, daylight savings, dst, baghdad

Effervescent, or, more than Greenough?

Ms J.A. RADISICH: [...] It is my opinion that fizzy drinks do not have a place in schools. I am sure some people will disagree with me. Some schools have said that their canteens need to sell junk food and fizzy drinks to make money. It is not an acceptable argument. I put it to the government that if it is the case that this issue is about providing funding to schools rather than what kids are eating, it becomes a separate issue that needs consideration.

Mr A.D. McRae: What sort of fizzy drinks are you talking about?

Ms J.A. RADISICH: I thank the member for Riverton for asking.

Ms K. Hodson-Thomas: Did you prompt him?

Ms J.A. RADISICH: No, I did not. However, he did well.

I looked at the nutritional content, or lack thereof, of some fizzy drinks that currently are available in some schools. It is cause for great alarm, which I will demonstrate. For example, Coca-Cola and Sprite are common drinks that are available to children at some schools, drinks that I am sure many members have ingested on occasion. Members know that Sprite and Coke have a high sugar content. It is something in the order of 16 teaspoons of sugar in just one can of drink. Professor Dingle from Murdoch University has stated that if we stopped drinking two cans of these drinks per day, we would all lose half a kilo per month.

Mr G. Woodhams: I will disappear!

Ms J.A. RADISICH: The member for Greenough needs to keep drinking them, but the rest of us could probably cut back.

Subject: Appropriation (Consolidated Fund) Bill (no. 1) 2006 [Legislative Assembly Second Reading - Cognate Debate]

Date: 17 May 2006

Hansard reference: pp. 2794b - 2848a [online (pdf)]

Tags: parliament, perth, state government, wa, fizzy drinks, soft drinks

Ashes to ashes

Hon PETER FOSS: [...] The House sent this Bill to the Standing Committee on Legislation to make what looked to be an unworkable supplementary notice paper into a workable one. Had the House tried to operate under normal circumstances, it would have been totally perplexed -

Hon Simon O’Brien: Can the minister get that ringing phone for me?

Hon Tom Stephens: My apologies, Mr Deputy Chairman. I think it’s my wife.

The DEPUTY CHAIRMAN (Hon Barry House): Standing Orders are very clear on this issue.

Hon PETER FOSS: I do not know whether that constitutes an interjection, but I am sure it is unruly.

Hon Simon O’Brien: If it is a message from Warnie, I want it tabled.

Subject: Environmental Protection Amendment Bill 2002 [Legislative Council - Committee]

Date: 21 August 2003

Hansard reference: pp. 10329b - 10360a [online (pdf)]

Tags: parliament, perth, state government, wa, warnie, mobile

Greenough is Greenough

Yesterday, the daylight saving bill was finally accepted by the Legislative Assembly. In memoriam of a sane time zone, I thought I'd share another one of the member for Greenough's brilliant compositions:

Mr G. WOODHAMS: [...] During my browsing in the National Gallery of Australia and the National Library, I came across, not unexpectedly, a poem dedicated to daylight saving. It was written by that well-known poet or poetess - not Dorothea Mackellar. The poem is called I Love A Sunburn Daily -

The love of beaches and stubbies
Of chardonnays by the pool
And doing deals in Sydney
With Coles and Woolies too
Strong love of wearing raybans
While driving in your Govvie car
I know but cannot share it
Because this time you’ve gone too far

See I love a sunburn daily
An extra hour will not work
The last time we were asked to try it
We were still recovering from Premier Burke
I love my faded curtains
And cows producing latte
My clock on Western Standard Time
And more bloody hours at Bunnings on Sunday

The tragic Labor government
And those swingers Matt and Johnny D
Long lunches with revenge intent
Giving Eric an extra hour to spend our surplus. Free.
Let the Greens tangle in the upper house
Where the Ljiljannas coil,
And trendies deck the lounges
After a hard day’s toil

Core of my heart, my rolex
Her ticking body so sweet
Mum and Dad rolling around in the morning
There’s a scene hard to beat

Mrs D.J. Guise: That’s too much information!

Mr G. WOODHAMS: Members will read into this bill what they want to read into it; that is what I have been hearing throughout the debate! The poem further reads -

But then the clockheads gather
And we can bless again
The dopey daylight savers
Who haven’t got a brain

Core of my heart, my cheap imitation bought in Thailand Rolex
In this land that time forgot
An extra hour every day,
And Carpy wants the lot.
We now have one fat time zone
All lined up with the Congo
Even the Mandurah line can run on time
With Alannah the Station Master keeping time on the bongo

The filmy veil of woopy weed
That thickens in the air
Pot smokers another hour to burn and indulge in vacant stare.
A summer of endless daytime
No clock to hold her back
This wilful, lavish land sucking mid strength
Can’t catch a taxi, mate they’re enjoying the sunset at Cottesloe
And the flag fall will set you back.

Mr Acting Speaker, this is the last, I think very important, verse of one of Dorothea’s lost poems -

All you who have not loved her,
Daylight savers You don’t understand -
Though sunburn holds many splendours,
And of it when I die,
I know to what Time Zone
My homing thoughts will fly.

Mr Acting Speaker, I am in an emphatic mode; maybe you did not gather that. Maybe some of the soft-headed modernists, as I refer to them, on either side of the house do not understand it, either.

There was a forum in ancient Rome, during the Roman Empire, known as the senate, in which there were several Caesars. Members may know about the senate and about Caligula, who appointed his horse as his successor emperor.

Mr R.C. Kucera: A bit like the leadership of the Liberal Party!

Mr G. WOODHAMS: The member may be correct, and I will not dispute him on that note.

Subject: DAYLIGHT SAVING BILL (NO 2) 2006 (WA Legislative Assembly)

Date: Tuesday, 31 October 2006

Hansard reference: pp. 7886b - 7952a (online (PDF))