Showing posts with label puns. Show all posts
Showing posts with label puns. Show all posts

Tuesday, March 06, 2007

and we're back


MR G. WOODHAMS (Greenough) [3.07 pm]: I will not spend a long time on my feet. The member for Vasse reminds me of the Muppets and Sesame Street. Today could well and truly be sponsored by the letter D - it is a disgraceful day, a doubtful day, a detritus day and a disappointing day. The disappointment I have is with members opposite. Most of us on this side of the house have at one time or another had conversations with members on the other side of the house on a range of issues. There are members on this side of the house who would consider those on the other side of the house amongst their friends and associates, with whom they can discuss a range of issues. I presume that most of us have respect for most members of this house. However, it disappoints me that those on the other side of the house do not have the respect of their own colleagues, and they certainly do not have the respect of this side of the house today because they are not defending - another letter D - their Premier in this case, and his cause of rooting out the influence of Burke and Grill in this house. [...] I invite members opposite to explain why they are not supporting their Premier and defending the case of rooting out Burke and Grill from influence in the ALP. This is a very doubtful day.

Ms A.J.G. MacTiernan: We all support it.

Mr G. WOODHAMS: I invite the Minister for Planning and Infrastructure to rise to her feet and build a case.

Ms A.J.G. MacTiernan: I can do that sitting down.

The ACTING SPEAKER: Order, minister!

Several members interjected.

The ACTING SPEAKER: Order! The member for Greenough has the floor. There is no call for conversations across the chamber. I would like to hear what the member for Greenough has to say, and I would like to hear it in relative silence.

Mr G. WOODHAMS: Perhaps I caused that disruption to proceedings by inviting interjections. If I did so, I apologise, Mr Acting Speaker.

I come from a farming background, for which I make no apology. This government reminds me of an old ewe that has secondary fly strike and is riddled with maggots, and even though it has the ability to cure itself, it is taking absolutely no opportunity to do that. Mr Acting Speaker (Mr A.P. O’Gorman), I have read your comment in the paper that you would prefer that the circumstances with regard to Hon Shelley Archer were resolved by having her removed from the Australian Labor Party. Some other members opposite would do well to have the same amount of courage.

Mr R.F. Johnson: The member for Kimberley might want to say something about Hon Shelley Archer, because, as the member knows, she wants the member for Kimberley’s seat!

Mrs C.A. Martin: That is really nasty! I like my seat!

Mr G. WOODHAMS: It is wonderful to chart the progress of the good ship ALP as it staggers from rock to rock and begins to sink. It would seem, though, that the crew of the good ship ALP are about to jump off the ship and leave the rat on board! Hon Shelley Archer is currently still in a position to take her seat in the upper house when it resumes. I advised the Premier earlier that he might like to use Ratsac on that honourable member. If the Premier does not want to take that advice, perhaps he will send the honourable member to “Burketown” in the “Gulf of Carpenteria” -

Several members interjected.

Mr G. WOODHAMS: I am glad members finally got it - Carpenteria!


Subject: Premier - Censure for Failure to Condemn Hon Shelley Archer [Legislative Assembly - Motion]

Date: 1 March 2007

Hansard reference: pp. 234c - 241a [online (pdf)]

Thursday, February 01, 2007

Eggciting times


HON BRUCE DONALDSON (Agricultural) [2.00 pm]: This Bill amends the Marketing of Eggs Act 1945 and provides for the expiry of the Act and the dissolution of the Western Australian Egg Marketing Board before 31 December 2005. The expiry of the Act will fulfil the State’s national competition policy obligations on egg marketing. I guess we, as legislators in this place, have always been cautious about deregulating any industry. We want to ensure that the decision we make is the right one. We do not want to finish up with egg on our face!

Several members interjected.

The DEPUTY PRESIDENT: Order, members!

[...]

Hon BRUCE DONALDSON: [...] Reading page after page of the bureaucratic letter, one must unscramble the fiction and the bureaucratic speak to get to the conclusions.

Hon Kim Chance: One should also not count chickens before they hatch.

Hon BRUCE DONALDSON: Most certainly not. They probably poached this from another document, and just changed the wording. That is very important to understand.

Hon Simon O’Brien: Is the wording scrambled?

Hon BRUCE DONALDSON: I had to unscramble it to find the facts in this piece of bureaucratic information.


Subject: Marketing of Eggs Amendment Bill 2004 [Legislative Council - Second Reading]

Date: 19 August 2004

Hansard reference: pp. 5231b - 5249a [online (pdf)]

Tuesday, November 28, 2006

No tackle, however


MR McGOWAN (Rockingham) [9.32 pm]: I will be handling this Bill on behalf of the Government because the Minister for Agriculture, Forestry and Fisheries is a member of the other place and his representative in this Chamber, his parliamentary secretary, the member for Cockburn, is absent and will not be able to deal with it.

Mr Carpenter: There is something fishy about that.

Mr McGOWAN: That could be true. Maybe he is the one that got away.

Mr Carpenter: Just as long as you do not attempt to gut the Bill; I am only baiting the member and he has taken it hook, line and sinker.

Mr McGOWAN: There is no doubt about that -

Mr Carpenter: What I am afraid of is that he is completely out of his depth.

Mr McGOWAN: There is no doubt that the Minister for Education is all washed up.

Mr Carpenter: What we need here is protection against the sharks in this region, so I hope that that is included in the Bill.

The DEPUTY SPEAKER: The member for Rockingham might like to address the second reading.

Mr Carpenter: He is having a whale of a time.

Mr McGOWAN: I am looking forward to getting on with the Bill. It is very interesting and listening to the Minister for Education -

Mr Carpenter: He might be looking forward to it, but he is behaving like a stunned mullet.

Mr McGOWAN: The Minister for Education is behaving like an old fishwife in his remarks about this Bill.


Subject: Fish Resources Management Amendment Bill 2001 [Legislative Assembly - Second Reading]

Date: 12 December 2001

Hansard reference: p. 7048 [online (pdf)]