Sunday's best?

Mr N.R. MARLBOROUGH: [...] I live with a greater degree of deregulation with my nearby shopping centres and small retailers. It is very popular, whether I like it or not. People go to the shopping centres in droves on Sundays. It is not just people from Rockingham; everyone from the metropolitan area comes down to shop at Rockingham on Sundays.

Mr R.F. Johnson: I don’t.

Mr N.R. MARLBOROUGH: The member knows the rules relating to him: we will not let him come down! Is not a question of “I don’t”; it is “we will not let him”!

Subject: Retail Shops and Fair Trading Legislation Amendment Bill 2003 [Legislative Assembly - Consideration in Detail]

Date: 27 November 2003

Hansard reference: pp. 13830b - 13839a [online (pdf)]

Tags: wa, state government, parliament, perth, sunday trading

Adjournment of a thousand miles...

Hon B.K. DONALDSON: [...] Hon George Cash is one of the most multiskilled members of this Parliament. In the four years that Hon George Cash occupied the Chair that you now occupy, Mr President, he was fettered in making comments, and I noted the other day his excitement at the freedom that he now enjoys. Hon George Cash is an excellent debater and a very intelligent person, and his contribution to this House will be of great value.

Hon N.D. Griffiths: Did he write this speech?

Hon B.K. DONALDSON: No. I also congratulate the ministers: Hon Kim Chance, the Leader of the House; Hon Tom Stephens; and my very good friend Hon Nick Griffiths.

Hon N.D. Griffiths: You can now read the part that I wrote!

Hon B.K. DONALDSON: I thank Hon Nick Griffiths for his contribution now that I have had another quick look at it.
[...]
I hope that the new members on both sides of the House have an enjoyable experience in this House. They will learn that there may be a division down the middle of the Chamber, but generally they will have a most enjoyable time in this place, as most of us get on well together. There has been some good debate in this House over time. People often ask me how we can have a worthwhile debate at three o’clock or four o’clock in the morning.

Hon N.F. Moore: With some difficulty.

Hon B.K. DONALDSON: With great difficulty. However, I remember some good debates at that time of the morning when members got their second wind in this place. I used to get annoyed when the House was wound up just before 6.00 am and we missed out on breakfast. The worst aspect of that was that most members got sucked in to stay until breakfast. I remember the first time that we sat all night when Hon George Cash told us there would be no charge for breakfast. That was not the case and we got the bill. I remember there being no marmalade for Hon Max Evans; therefore, he brought his own jar of marmalade into the House because he loved marmalade on his toast.

Hon N.D. Griffiths: You have spoken about Hon George Cash. Do you remember the occasion when he commenced the adjournment debate and then concluded it by saying, “I move that the House do not adjourn”?

Hon B.K. DONALDSON: Yes, these were very enjoyable times. I hope the new members who came into this place after the last election can enjoy the experiences that we have had. There will be some unpleasant times but that is the nature of the beast.

Subject: Address-in-Reply [Legislative Council - Motion]

Date: 28 June 2001

Hansard reference: pp. 1530 - 1531 [online (pdf): p. 1530 / p. 1531]

Tags: wa, state government, perth, parliament

Froggy Highway

Mr M. McGOWAN: He points out in the report that there would be a dramatic impact on fauna and flora along the route of the canal, a dramatic impact on surface hydrology, movement of fauna across the region in the area of the canal, an impact upon national parks and A-class nature reserves along the route of the canal, and a potential impact on the Ramsar Convention’s list of wetlands. In addition, 33 000 hectares of land would be cleared to build the canal. Of course, as the water was transported along the route, 200 gigalitres of water would be lost that this state -

Mr P.D. Omodei interjected.

The SPEAKER: I call the Leader of the Opposition to order.

Mr P.D. Omodei interjected.

The SPEAKER: I call the Leader of the Opposition to order for the second time.

Mr M. McGOWAN: We would lose 200 gigalitres of water along the route every year, which this state can ill afford to lose, and it would be environmentally disastrous. It gets worse. This report directly refers to the canal being an opportunity for what it terms dangerous biota to move along its length. Dangerous biota is basically cane toads.

Several members interjected.

Mr C.J. Barnett: Cane toads coming down the canal! Cane toads in swimmers surfing along the canal!

Mr M. McGOWAN: The member for Cottesloe thinks he is not only C.Y. O’Connor, but also Ferdinand de Lesseps. Now he thinks he is David Suzuki. He knows everything about engineering and the environment. The member for Cottesloe knows everything about these things. There is a prospect that cane toads will come from the north of the state into backyards and the wilderness areas and wetlands of the southern part of this state under this proposal.

Several members interjected.

The SPEAKER: I call the member for Cottesloe to order again and the member for Roe.

Mr M. McGOWAN: This report refers directly to that prospect. Anyone who has seen cane toads will understand that they are an ecological disaster. We do not need a cane toad autobahn transporting them from the north to the south of the state. This canal would be a river of ecological ruin. Fortunately, the people of the state recognised that at the last state election when they gave us a thumping victory.

Subject: Appleyard Report [Legislative Assembly - Questions Without Notice]

Date: 3 May 2006

Hansard reference: pp. 2089c - 2090a [online (pdf)]

Tags: wa, state government, perth, parliament, cane toads

Grim tales

HON DERRICK TOMLINSON (East Metropolitan) [3.02 pm]: I am not sure how to characterise this Bill. Bearing in mind that the second reading speech summarises the intent of the Bill, if one reads the minister’s second reading speech and loses sight of the Bill itself, it could be characterised as a “Mary Poppins Bill” - a spoonful of sugar makes the medicine go down in the most delightful way. If one is distracted by the eloquence of the second reading speech and does not pay attention to the contents of the Bill, it might be characterised as an “It will not hurt, did it Bill” because a person does not know what he is getting until after he has had it. It is only when the consequences are examined that the person knows what it is that he had. The third way of characterising this Bill -

The CHAIRMAN: Order, members!

Hon DERRICK TOMLINSON: I apologise to honourable members who are trying to carry on with their conversations. My voice does tend to intrude into their conversations but I shall try to reduce its timbre.

Hon Nick Griffiths: I can assure Hon Derrick Tomlinson that I was listening to his every word. I know that he, like I did, enjoyed the Mary Poppins movie many years ago and a spoonful of sugar does help the medicine go down. There is another long word I could use but I will not say it because I might get it wrong.

Hon DERRICK TOMLINSON: The minister cannot help but listen to what I have to say because the whole world hears what I say. I want to make sure he absorbs what I have to say.

The third way of characterising this Bill is as the “Little Red Riding Hood Bill”.

Hon Nick Griffiths: And you are the big bad wolf.

Hon DERRICK TOMLINSON: No, I am Little Red Riding Hood. Members know what happened to Little Red Riding Hood. On her way to Grandma’s house, with the express warning from her mother to beware of the wolf in the woods, poor Little Red Riding Hood was spied on by the wolf in the woods. Instead of the wolf jumping out and doing what wolves do to little maidens in the wood, he decided to go to Grandma’s house and disguise himself as someone else. He disguised himself as Grandma and decided to impose an intelligence test upon Little Red Riding Hood.

Hon Nick Griffiths: You are the big bad wolf.

Hon DERRICK TOMLINSON: No, I am Little Red Riding Hood. As we all know, the big bad wolf did something to Grandma - stuffed her into the cupboard or under the bed - and then dressed himself in her nightclothes and jumped into her bed. Totally oblivious to this, Little Red Riding Hood came into the house, saw Grandma in bed and said “Oh Grandma, what big eyes you have.” Grandma responded by saying “All the better to see you with, my dear.” Little Red Riding Hood failed the first test. She then said “Oh Grandma, what big ears you have.” Grandma responded “All the better to hear you with, my dear” and Little Red Riding Hood failed the second test. Can members imagine the situation; there is a wolf in the bed with more hair on his face than Hon Frank Hough or Hon Simon O’Brien and Little Red Riding Hood does not even twig that Grandma is a wolf; she must have been the original bimbo. Eventually Little Red Riding Hood said “Oh Grandma, what big teeth you have.” At that stage the wolf jumped out of bed, exposed himself, Little Red Riding Hood screamed, the woodman came in, dispatched the wolf and carried off Little Red Riding Hood. This Bill is a “Little Red Riding Hood Bill”.

Subject: Fire and Emergency Services Legislation Amendment Bill 2001 [Legislative Council - Second Reading]

Date: 19 September 2002

Hansard reference: pp. 1253b - 1257a [online (pdf)]

Tags: wa, state government, perth, parliament

I... have no words.

Mr G. WOODHAMS to the Minister Assisting the Minister for Education and Training:
I acknowledge the presence in the house today of students from Nagle Catholic College and Mt Tarcoola Primary School.

It is with some trepidation that I ask this question in bakery parlance, because the person to whom I am about to address my question is more like a mud cake to my matchstick presence.

Several members interjected.

Mr G. WOODHAMS: It should be a process of self-identification, Mr Speaker. No-one knows who I am talking about yet. My question without notice is to the Minister Assisting the Minister for Education and Training. Given small business concerns, particularly in the mid-west, about shortening the length of apprenticeships from four to two years and the subsequent drain of trainees to the mining industry and other parts of the state as a result of the resources boom, I ask -

(1) Is the minister aware that Geraldton’s biggest employer of engineer apprentices, D-Trans Motor Body Builders and General Engineers, now refuses to hire new apprentices because it is not receiving a long-term return from its investment?

(2) Will the minister consider a bonding program to ensure that businesses do not lose apprentices after underwriting their training?

(3) What other initiatives does the minister propose to help small businesses retain trained apprentices in the mid-west?

Mr N.R. MARLBOROUGH replied:

(1)-(3) The mud cake has arrived.

Ms A.J.G. MacTiernan: You are so tasty!

Several members interjected.

The SPEAKER: Order!

Mr N.R. MARLBOROUGH: Even I am turning red.

Subject: Apprentices - Retention by Employers [Legislative Assembly]

Date: 31 May 2006

Hansard reference: pp. 3342b-3343a [online (pdf)]

Would you like that straight up, or with tonic?

Mr C.J. Barnett: Where is the Speaker?

Mr R.F. JOHNSON: I am sure the Acting Speaker has the same serious concerns as I do about the damage that cannabis does to children. I know that the member for Joondalup, the Acting Speaker, has children, and in the not-too-distant future he will probably have grandchildren.

The ACTING SPEAKER (Mr A.P. O’Gorman): I hope not.

Mr R.F. JOHNSON: Of course you will, Mr Acting Speaker. The not-too-distant future could be five or 10 years; that is not a long time. This is the problem and this is why we on this side of the House do not agree with the suspension of standing orders just so the Leader of the House can guillotine this Bill and go home. I wonder whether the Leader of the House has instructions from the Premier to guillotine this Bill because he does not want to be up all night. He had a lovely kip last night with teddy, and he does not want to be in the Chamber tonight; he wants to be home with teddy again.

The ACTING SPEAKER: Member for Hillarys!

Mr R.F. JOHNSON: That is what I reckon. I am giving the reason that I am opposed to the suspension of standing orders. That is my view. We have had a slight glimpse of the Premier. It looked like the Premier. I think it was the Premier.

Mr P.G. Pendal: We are very worried about teddy. Who is teddy?

Mr R.F. JOHNSON: I want to know what teddy’s name is. I think the Premier is one of those people who would have a teddy. I wonder whether this debate will also be gagged. The Leader of the House is a compulsive gagger, because he has gagged debate all night long. So far he has gagged every clause apart from one. We did not take long to deal with that clause and we dealt with it quite legitimately. We felt that that clause should be passed fairly quickly and we scrutinised it very carefully.

Mr P.G. Pendal: He should have been given a GIN.

Mr R.F. JOHNSON: What is that?

Mr P.G. Pendal: A gaggers infringement notice.

Subject: Cannabis Control Bill 2003 [Legislative Assembly - Consideration in Detail]

Date: 16 April 2003

Hansard reference: pp. 6848b-6932a [online (pdf)]

Through a long and sleepless night

Mr R.F. JOHNSON: Once again, this is why I am saying that we should suspend standing orders now. I moved the motion because the Leader of the House wants to debate it at some time in the future - tomorrow. We do not have a clue for how long we will sit tomorrow. We do not know for how long we still sit this evening. We did not know for how long we would sit last evening. I got to bed this morning at twenty to four. My little teddy bear was getting very lonely!

Mr R.C. Kucera: Obviously you didn’t get your beauty sleep.

Mr R.F. JOHNSON: I did not. The member for Yokine has missed his for years, by the looks of it.

The SPEAKER: Now, now!

Subject: Standing Orders Suspension [Legislative Assembly - Business of the House - Motion]

Date: 6 April 2005

Hansard reference: pp. 423b - 428a [online (pdf)]

Tags: wa, state government, perth, parliament

Festive message

THE SPEAKER (Mr F. Riebeling): I thank members for their contribution to the adjournment debate. I now get the opportunity as Speaker to speak in an unusual set of surroundings. I never thought I would be standing here on the last day of any Parliament speaking to a red chamber rather than the more traditional blue chamber. I thank the Council for allowing us to use this chamber. No doubt we will use it again when we return in February; hopefully, for only one week’s sitting.

[...] I hope that I do not have anxious nights in January worrying about whether the deadline will be met. Members should not worry about it; but I should and I will. If it does not work out it is only a short-term issue; whatever problems arise will be fixed in about 80 years!

[...]

I thank everyone and I wish everyone a merry Christmas and a happy new year. If we all drink in moderation, we will all return safe and healthy. I am sure those are the thoughts of everyone. I thank both sides of the chamber for their support during the year. Some members have been a little noisier than others, but if we have no passion, we might as well not be here. I thank everyone for their efforts and look forward to next year in a brand-new chamber. If there are any scratches on the chairs, we will know who did it! I look forward to the start of the next parliamentary year.

Subject: Adjournment of the House [Legislative Assembly]

Date: 12 December 2006

Hansard reference: pp. 9397c - 9402a [online (pdf)]

Tags: wa, state government, perth, parliament

Now we're going somewhere

HON KIM CHANCE (Agricultural - Leader of the House) [6.36 pm]: I move -

That the house do adjourn to a time and place of the President’s -

THE PRESIDENT: This is very tempting, Leader of the House; we might be going somewhere exotic.

Hon KIM CHANCE: No. Without notice, I move -

That the house at its rising adjourn until a date and time to be fixed by the President.

Hon Norman Moore: I like the bit about the place!

Hon KIM CHANCE: Acapulco? We will start with As.

The PRESIDENT: I do not want to interrupt the Leader of the House, but I hope he is successful in getting the appropriate appropriations so that we can give that consideration!

Hon KIM CHANCE: I have already made a small start on that, Mr President, to be fair!

The PRESIDENT: Please commence your promise!

Hon KIM CHANCE: Thank you, Mr President.

Subject: Adjournment of the House [Legislative Council - Special]

Date: 7 December 2006

Hansard reference: pp. 9343c - 9350a [online (pdf)]

Tags: wa, state government, perth, parliament

You and I, Cutiepie

Mr P.B. Watson: They know. You went to Albany and said that deregulation was inevitable.

Mr C.J. BARNETT: No, I did not.

Mr P.B. Watson: Yes, you did.

Mr C.J. BARNETT: No, I did not; I know exactly what I said. As the member and I are engaging in debate, why do we not go to Albany in the next couple of months and publicly debate trading hours?

Mr P.B. Watson: No worries.

Mr C.J. BARNETT: It is a date. Can the member for Bunbury and I do it in Bunbury? Let us go to Bunbury and debate trading hours. Is the member willing to do that? Come on, we can debate trading hours.

Mr A.J. Dean: As long as Geoff Prosser and Dan Sullivan are there.

Mr C.J. BARNETT: No, just the member and I.

Mr A.J. Dean: Do you know that the man most likely to win out of deregulation is Geoff Prosser, your number one Liberal in Western Australia?

Mr C.J. BARNETT: Just the member and I. Come on cutie-pie; we can debate trading hours in the member’s electorate of Bunbury.

Subject: Stamp Amendment (Budget) Bill 2003 [Legislative Assembly - Second Reading]

Date: 10 June 2003

Hansard reference: pp. 8479b - 8500a [online (pdf)]

I'm trying to picture it...

Hon NORMAN MOORE: [...] They did not have the nerve - that is what it came down to - but I was prepared to do what had to be done in Western Australia. It demonstrated for all to see that the vast majority of students on every campus in Western Australia did not want to be a member of the guild and they did not join the guild.

Hon Ljiljanna Ravlich interjected.

Hon NORMAN MOORE: They did not join and they did not use the facilities either.

Hon Graham Giffard: Yes, they did.

Hon NORMAN MOORE: They used the facilities that were being run by the guild as commercial activities. They went to the tavern, for example, where 17-year-olds were taught how to drink.

Hon Ljiljanna Ravlich: Oh!

Hon NORMAN MOORE: Hon Ljiljanna Ravlich should not give me that nonsense. She should visit the tav one day and see what goes on there. She will get some idea of the wonderful things that are happening to people at the University of Western Australia!

Hon Ljiljanna Ravlich: I used to work in the tav.

Hon NORMAN MOORE: I hope she did not teach some of the young people the things that I know about.

Subject: Acts Amendment (Student Guilds and Associations) Bill 2002 [Legislative Council - Second Reading]

Date: 18 December 2002

Hansard reference: pp. 4468b - 4483a [online (pdf)]

Tags: wa, state government, perth, parliament, student guild

Sands of time

MS K. HODSON-THOMAS (Carine) [4.18 pm]: I was hoping to receive the call in time to acknowledge my son who was in the public gallery; however, he has left.

Mr C.J. Barnett: He is off to the beach; that is what daylight saving is about!

Ms K. HODSON-THOMAS: Yes, he is off to the beach.

The DEPUTY SPEAKER: I am sorry, member for Carine; you were beaten on the voices. I am sure he is here in spirit.

Mr C.J. Barnett: He will be back for dinner in an hour.

Ms K. HODSON-THOMAS: He is lucky if his mother prepares him a home-cooked meal, because she is never quite sure when he will be home!

Subject: Daylight Saving Bill (no. 2) 2006 [Legislative Assembly - Standing Orders Suspension - Motion]

Date: 31 October 2006

Hansard reference: pp. 7886b - 7952a [online (pdf)]

Tags: wa, state government, perth, parliament, dst, daylight saving

Sure of the dead

Mr R.F. JOHNSON: As the minister is obviously aware, that is a recent Act. What was in the mind of the minister when she brought that Bill into Parliament concerning leaving a child unsupervised? Was there a specific time frame? Did it concern leaving a child unsupervised when a parent popped into a neighbour’s house to check on something or when she went to pick up another child? It is a bit of a job getting a baby in and out of a baby seat in a car.

Mr P.G. Pendal: That is the same as murder; you have been told that because that is what is in the schedule.

Mr R.F. JOHNSON: Exactly, but it cannot be the same as murder.

Mr P.G. Pendal: One would not think so.

Mr R.F. JOHNSON: Murder is pretty definite.

Mr P.G. Pendal: It is a bit.

Subject: Working With Children (Criminal Record Checking) Bill 2004 [Legislative Assembly - Second Reading]

Date: 26 October 2004

Hansard reference: pp. 7273i - 7309a [online (pdf)]

Tags: wa, state government, perth, parliament

Farewell to a free speech...

THE PRESIDENT (Hon J.A. Cowdell): Normally on a Thursday we would proceed to the consideration of committee reports, but we do not have any reports for consideration. Before we proceed to orders of the day I have a commercial. I have been advised that all Council proceedings are now videotaped and that members may order a copy of their speeches at a cost of $22 each, or a copy of Hon Peter Foss’s speech if they did not get the point earlier in the day.

Hon Derrick Tomlinson: For $66.

The PRESIDENT: I inform members of that excellent service that is now available.

Subject: Videotaping of Proceedings [Legislative Council - Statement by President]

Date: 21 June 2001

Hansard reference: pp. 1285 [online (pdf)]

Tags: wa, state government, perth, parliament

The yeast of their worries?

HON PAUL LLEWELLYN (South West) [3.50 pm]: [...] Even in this wealthy economy we have a very small amount of capital to invest in infrastructure and we end up with the Vegemite plan; that is, to invest thinly across all sectors. Every now and then there is a patch of thick Vegemite and it does not taste very nice. That is the model we are using - the Vegemite model of regional planning and asset investment.

Hon Murray Criddle interjected.

Hon PAUL LLEWELLYN: I like Vegemite. In fact, I have Vegemite and jam but I do not want to go into that because I know we have a very short -

Several members interjected.

Hon PAUL LLEWELLYN: Vegemite and marmalade is the best thing. Sick, sick, sick! Time is short and I would like to put forward an amendment to the motion that synthesises the intention of both government and opposition to move forward. I will do that in a minute. Of course, I would have liked 45 minutes to expand -

Hon Robyn McSweeney: No!

Subject: Infrastructure and Development in Rural and Regional Western Australia [Legislative Council - Motion]

Date: 30 August 2006

Hansard reference: pp. 5389c - 5406a [online (pdf)]

Tags: wa, state government, parliament, perth, vegemite

Not caned but able

Hon FRANK HOUGH: [...] A perpetrator does not wake up one morning and say “I am going to be a thief because I need the money”. Most perpetrators have probably come through school having nicked things. If I got out earlier enough I used to go through everyone’s school bags at lunchtime because mum would give me only vegemite sandwiches. If someone had ham and cheese sandwiches I used to grab them and replace them with my vegemite sandwiches. I am a justice of the peace. I do not even have a traffic charge recorded against my name. I do not have a criminal record. I thought I would tell members that.

Several members interjected.

Hon FRANK HOUGH: If I have to do time for that vegemite sandwich, so be it! If I am sent forth to get one lash of the cane for what I did at school, I am prepared to accept it.

Hon John Fischer: I believe the President of the Parliament probably has the power to act on that!

The PRESIDENT: Order! I am sure we have a committee to deal with such a matter.

Subject: Convicted Offenders, Corporal Punishment [Legislative Council - Motion]

Date: 11 June 2003

Hansard reference: pp. 8558b - 8563a [online (pdf)]

Tags: parliament, state government, perth, wa, corporal punishment

Definitely the right room for an argument

Mr R.F. JOHNSON: [...] It is a shame that the Government has not done more for tourism in Western Australia, particularly for those people who are suffering. I have just returned from the south west -

Ms A.J. MacTiernan: Minister for Tourism, what did the ratings ever do for us?

Mr R.F. JOHNSON: Is the Minister for Planning and Infrastructure suggesting that the Minister for Tourism is Monty Python?

Ms A.J. MacTiernan: I am not suggesting that the minister is.

Mr R.F. JOHNSON: I thought perhaps the minister was. It was rude of the Minister for Planning and Infrastructure to refer to her colleague like that.

The SPEAKER: Members, I do not wish to order a stoning!

Mr R.F. JOHNSON: Absolutely! Mr Speaker, will you please protect me from the Minister for Planning and Infrastructure?

Subject: Western Australian Tourism Commission Amendment Bill 2003 [Legislative Assembly - Second Reading]

Date: 18 June 2003

Hansard reference: pp. 8877c - 8884a [online (pdf)]

Tags: wa, state government, perth, parliament

Happier days?

Ah, a reshuffle in time for Christmas. Cheers Ljiljanna, honours would be on the way but apparently the OBE's got a bit lost...

Hon NORMAN MOORE: [...] I find it interesting that the Labor Party, which I suspect has more positions on this matter than the Kamasutra -

Hon Ljiljanna Ravlich: How would you know? Have you read the Kamasutra?

Hon NORMAN MOORE: I have and I am familiar with the lot of them!

The PRESIDENT: Order! Let us not get distracted.

Hon Ljiljanna Ravlich: You just don’t look like that sort of bloke.

Hon Peter Foss interjected.

The PRESIDENT: Order! If the honourable minister and Hon Peter Foss wish to discuss this matter further, they can do so without the Leader of the Opposition.

Hon NORMAN MOORE: Is it not extraordinary the things that excite the Minister for Local Government! Just the mention of the Kamasutra made her almost jump out of her chair. That might be number 459!

Subject: Retail Trading Hours Amendment (Referendums) Bill 2004 [Legislative Council - Second Reading]

Date: 23 November 2004

Hansard reference: pp. 8388c - 8395a [online (pdf)]

Tags: wa, state government, perth, parliament, kamasutra, ravlich

Putting the mochas on

Mr T. BUSWELL: [...] The Treasurer said that daylight saving will help to make this state more energetic and engaging and a better place for tourists to visit. I accept that may be a valid argument. However, I mulled over that and asked what state in Australia would I regard as an energetic and exciting state from a tourism perspective. The answer is Queensland - the Gold Coast and Cairns.

Ms J.A. Radisich: Victoria.

Mr T. BUSWELL: Victoria is hardly the tourism capital of Australia! I know that for the inner city, latte sipping Labor sorts, a trip to Melbourne -

Mr J.B. D’Orazio: That is what you are.

Mr T. BUSWELL: I come from a regional centre where we grind our way out of the dirt.

Mr J.B. D’Orazio: I saw you sipping latte.

Mr T. BUSWELL: By the bye, I am a flat-white fellow - I cannot pronounce “latte”.

Subject: Daylight Saving Bill (no. 2) 2006 [Legislative Assembly - Standing Orders Suspension - Motion]

Date: 31 October 2006

Hansard reference: pp. 7886b - 7952a [online (pdf)]

Tags: wa, state government, perth, parliament, dst, daylight saving, latte

It was bound to be there...

Mr R.F. JOHNSON: [...] I love it when the Minister for Planning and Infrastructure interjects on me, because it always gives me a second wind. She knows better than to interject on me but she never learns.

Ms A.J. MacTiernan: Yes, but we live in hope that one day you will learn.

Mr R.F. JOHNSON: No. One day the minister will learn that she should not let her mouth run ahead of her brain. She should do it the other way round: she should think what she is going to say and then say it; and in many cases perhaps she should not say it. Then we would get through legislation quicker. The Minister for Planning and Infrastructure is a friend of mine and I like her. I do not like saying these things about her. However, I want to get back to this Bill, because it is important, and I seriously mean that.

Ms A.J. MacTiernan: The only Bill you are interested in is the one on television at 7.30 pm on a Tuesday.

Ms S.M. McHale: At 8.30 pm.

Subject: Children and Community Development Bill 2003 [Legislative Assembly - Consideration in Detail]

Date: 4 March 2004

Hansard reference: pp. 412b - 428a [online (pdf)]

Tags: wa, state government, perth, parliament, the bill

That's Greenough

DR S.C. THOMAS (Capel) [3.55 pm]: I thank you, Madam Deputy Speaker, for the opportunity to debate the Premier’s Statement. I, like everybody else, congratulate the member for Willagee on his rise to the top. Actually, I congratulate the member for Geraldton for being appointed to the most important job and the member for Willagee for being appointed to the second most important job. I am sure that the member for Geraldton will gradually move down those benches as time goes by. The member for Greenough referred to Arnold Schwarzenegger. He compared himself to him -

Mr G.A. Woodhams: He is my twin!

Dr S.C. THOMAS: The member for Greenough said that he was not like Arnold Schwarzenegger, so I was wondering whether it meant he will not be back! That was a little aside for the entertainment of the massive crowd here today!

Subject: Premier's Statement [Legislative Assembly - Consideration -- Motion]

Date: 9 March 2006

Hansard reference: pp. 222b - 242a [online (pdf)]

Tags: wa, state government, perth, parliament, schwarzenegger

Hello sailor

MS K. HODSON-THOMAS (Carine) [4.25 pm]: [...] I know that because I can see the area from my hotel room at the Ocean Centre Hotel.

Ms A.J.G. MacTiernan: Are we staying at the same hotel?

Ms K. HODSON-THOMAS: We are indeed, Minister for Planning and Infrastructure. It is a great outlook from there. I must admit that I enjoyed looking out at the port last night and at the twinkling of the starboard and port markers.

Ms A.J.G. MacTiernan: I love it when you talk nautical!

Ms K. HODSON-THOMAS: People know that I have a great affinity with the ocean and for boating, which I love. It is a great leisure activity, and Geraldton is renowned for it. That revitalisation is very important to all in Geraldton. Therefore, I support the Minister for Planning and Infrastructure. I know members on the other side are surprised, because I am not often known to support her, but I have a high regard for the work she does.

I also enjoy the outlook from what is a fantastic tribute initiated by Rotary, the HMAS Sydney memorial. I walked up there with a couple of colleagues this morning; it is a beautiful walk.

Mr J. McGrath: We jogged up!

Ms K. HODSON-THOMAS: No, we did not jog up. I am sure the member for South Perth would not have made the hill!

The DEPUTY SPEAKER: Misleading the Parliament - tut-tut!

Subject: Railway Discontinuance Bill (No. 2) 2006 [Legislative Assembly - second reading]

Date: 30 May 2006

Hansard reference: pp. 3189b - 3205a [online (pdf)]

Well, it's possibly more relevant than the Baghdad example

Mr J.B. D’ORAZIO: I am speaking today for a particular reason. The people who have taken the time to e-mail and contact us have gone out of their way. I need to record in this debate the fact that so many people have made the effort to contact us. I want to present these e-mails to the house so that the statistics will be recorded in Hansard forever. As I have said, my office has received more than 5137 e-mails. We have been very careful to ensure that if two e-mails have been sent from the same email address, we delete the second one so that we do not get a figure that is not true and accurate.

Mr B.J. Grylls: Your poor staff!

Mr J.B. D’ORAZIO: Yes! I was going to get to that. Ailsa, who is in the public gallery, and the other staff members in my office have had an absolute bugger of a week. They have said to me, “No more private members’ bills, please!”

Mr R.F. Johnson: What did you say?

Mr J.B. D’ORAZIO: I said, “See you next week!” I want to present these e-mails to the Parliament. I am not sure whether I can table them for those members who want to see them. As I have said, 96 per cent of the e-mails are in favour of daylight saving.

Mr R.F. Johnson: You can seek leave to lay them on the table for the balance of this day’s sitting.

Mr J.B. D’ORAZIO: I do not want them to be taken out of the chamber and made public.

Mr R.F. Johnson: No. If you seek leave to lay them on the table for the balance of this day’s sitting, they cannot be taken out of the chamber.

Mr J.B. D’ORAZIO: For the record, the e-mails that I am holding up are the ones that we have received in opposition to daylight saving. The two boxes of e-mails are the ones that we have received in support of daylight saving. I say that because I do not want to be accused of not presenting both cases.

Mr R.F. Johnson: Did you print them all off?

Mr J.B. D’ORAZIO: Yes.

Mr R.F. Johnson: What a waste of paper!

Mr J.B. D’ORAZIO: This is an important issue.

Mr B.J. Grylls: Daylight saving will lead to the loss of old-growth forests!

Subject: Daylight Saving Bill (No. 2) 2006 [Standing Orders Suspension - Motion]

Date: 31 October 2006

Hansard reference: pp. 7886b - 7952a [online (pdf)]

Tags: state government, parliament, perth, wa, daylight saving, dst, emails, old growth forests

Disorganised religion

Mr R.F. JOHNSON: [...] In Western Australia, people can commit a crime and be fined, but they will not need to pay the fine, and they will not go to prison! That is the new slogan from the Attorney General! I am sure the Attorney will get the criminals’ vote, because anything that will save them money they will vote for.

Mr R.C. Kucera: People in prison do not get a vote.

Mr R.F. JOHNSON: Not all the criminals are in prison.

Mr R.C. Kucera: No. They are in car parks.

Mr R.F. JOHNSON: I would not go down that track if I were the member! The member should not start talking about these things, because he might leave himself wide open! God said: come unto me with clean hands. That is what God would be saying to the member for Yokine.

Mr T.G. Stephens: I do not remember that! Where is that in the scriptures?

Mr R.F. JOHNSON: In other words, the member for Yokine should not make accusations. Unless he is as white as the driven snow -

Mr T.G. Stephens: What section of the scriptures is that from?

Mr R.F. JOHNSON: It is from the “Johnson Bible”. It is saying that we should avoid hypocrisy. The member may not understand the subtlety of the meaning -

Mr T.G. Stephens: I would stick to the authorised version if I were you!

Mr R.F. JOHNSON: I am happy to explain it to the member. My colleague, who I believe was going to go into a monastery at one time -

Mr T.G. Stephens: No. You have got that wrong.

Mr R.F. JOHNSON: That is what I heard.

Mr T.G. Stephens: Well, you got it wrong.

Mr R.F. JOHNSON: I thought the member was going to be a monk or something.

Mr T.G. Stephens: No. It was something much more profound than that.

Mr R.F. JOHNSON: What was the member going to be?

Mr T.G. Stephens: What was I going to be?

Mr R.F. JOHNSON: Yes - when the member grows up! What was the member going to be when he grew up?

Mr T.G. Stephens: Sorry. I am missing the question.

Mr R.F. JOHNSON: What was the member going to be? The member was going to be something in a religious order.

Mr T.G. Stephens: Was I? You are telling the story. You have got it all wrong.

Mr R.F. JOHNSON: That is what I was told.

Mr T.G. Stephens: You have got it all wrong so far. However, this is off the point. You have digressed by your misquoting of the sacred scriptures -

Mr R.F. JOHNSON: No. I am just quoting from the “Johnson Bible”, which says that God said: come unto me with clean hands. The meaning of that is that if we want to lay a complaint against someone, we should make sure we have clean hands ourselves - we might have some tomato ketchup on our hands, or something!

Mr T.G. Stephens: The thing I have learnt about you is that when you have nothing to say, you become desperate for interjections!

Mr R.F. JOHNSON: Not at all. I am just having a bit of fun. I have just said that I have virtually completed my remarks. If the member for Yokine had not interjected on me, I probably would have finished by now. The member for Central Kimberly-Pilbara then interjected on me, and I could not resist -

Mr C.J. Barnett: It is nearly Christmas! You can make your Christmas speech now!

Mr R.F. JOHNSON: My Christmas speech will come later!

Subject: Fines Legislation Amendment Bill 2006 [Legislative Assembly - Second Reading]

Date: 28 November 2006

Hansard reference: pp. 8857c - 8875a [online (pdf)]

Tags: wa, state government, perth, parliament, bible, religion

Applied economics

Mr M.W. TRENORDEN: [...] Employing security staff is an extra cost for show organisers. I have to disagree with my good mate the member for Wagin; there is too much security at the Dowerin Field Day. In that situation, we do not need that level of security. However, if the organisers are expecting 200 people to turn up at the bar, there has to be X number of security. That is an enormous cost. In addition, where will we find that level of security staff? It is a good thing I have run out of voice.

Mr G. Snook: We will have to get the Irish barmaid to check you out.

Mr M.W. TRENORDEN: I wish you would. I am still single, so I am allowed to be checked out.

Mr G. Snook: There is a big problem.

Mr M.W. TRENORDEN: It has something to do with supply and demand!

Mr G. Snook: You are getting your ambitions mixed up with your capabilities.

Mr M.W. TRENORDEN: Exactly. We will not go down that road and waste 30 seconds of the poor barmaid’s time!

Subject: Liquor and Gaming Legislation Amendment Bill 2006 [Legislative Assembly - Second Reading]

Date: 17 October 2006

Hansard reference: pp. 7050b - 7094a [online (pdf)]

Tags: wa, state government, perth, parliament

Politics, on the edge...

Ms MacTIERNAN: [...] In a number of the cases I brought to this Parliament, the government agencies - that is, the Real Estate and Business Agents Supervisory Board, the Settlement Agents Supervisory Board, the ministry - point blank refused to provide any assistance whatsoever to the elderly people who had been defrauded of every penny they had. Lawyers - even some from the most conservative legal firms in this State - were so horrified by the travesty that had been perpetrated by the failure of the Minister's department and agencies to deal with it, that they acted on a pro bono basis for these clients.

Mr Shave: What do you mean by that?

Ms MacTIERNAN: I will translate it: It means free of charge.

Mr Riebeling: The lead singer with U2!

Subject: Real Estate and Business Agents Amendment Bill [Legislative Council - Second Reading]

Date: 8 April 1998

Hansard reference: p. 1709 [online (pdf)]

Tags: state government, parliament, perth, wa, bono

You know you're going to at least search for him in the contact directory now

Mr A.J. SIMPSON: [...] I also mentioned that people are able to contact me via MSN. The idea behind using MSN was that it was the latest way of getting in touch with people. I can also be contacted by SMS, which is how many kids communicate. It is kind of a shame, because people will probably lose their communication skills by using SMS. The beauty of e-mail and SMS is that one can choose whether to answer a message today or tomorrow. It is not like the phone ringing and having to talk to someone. That is the way kids communicate these days. I thought that if I could provide this service, I might be able to capture more of the youth market as a member of Parliament. It would enable them to talk to me and me to talk to them and hopefully answer their questions. I probably average a dozen messages a week. Some weeks I get a lot and other weeks I get only two or three. I am sometimes asked straightforward questions. One kid asked me the other day about how to get a skate park in his area. [...] After about a 20-minute conversation, this kid knew a lot more about politics, how the system works and how to chase up getting a skate park. He probably cannot vote for me for another four or five years, but that is beside the point. I think he was happy to do that.

Mr A.D. McRae: He would be a Labor voter anyway.

Mr A.J. SIMPSON: I do not know. If he is using the Internet and telecommunications, he is probably more likely to be a Liberal voter.

Mr M.P. Murray: Do you know the difference between a Labor voter and a computer? With computers you only have to punch in the information once.

Subject: Criminal Code Amendment (Cyber Predators) Bill 2005 [Legislative Assembly - Motion]

Date: 8 November 2005

Hansard reference: pp. 6891b - 6907a [online (pdf)]

Tags: wa, state government, perth, parliament, msn

Yokine and context - sometimes irrelevant, often quotable

MR M.J. COWPER (Murray) [5.43 pm]: [...] A situation developed back in 2003 for New Zealanders. I take a bit of an issue with members of the house who said today that New Zealanders usually copy what happens in Australia. I enjoy from time to time - particularly when the rugby is on - giving our Anzac cousins across the Tasman Sea a bit of a touch up, particularly the wife of one of my best mates who is of Kiwi origin. I enjoy from time to time giving them a bit of a going over, just for the fact that they are Kiwis. Whether we are Kiwi or Australian, it is almost a traditional sport to beat up on each other.

Mr R.C. Kucera: Do you realise what you have just said about your mate’s wife?

Mr M.J. COWPER: What; that she was a Kiwi?

Mr R.C. Kucera: No, before that.

Mr M.J. COWPER: I have no idea.

Mr J.C. Kobelke: Check it in Hansard.

Mr M.J. COWPER: I will check it in Hansard and have a bit of a laugh. Okay? However, I can assure the member for Yokine that there was nothing -

An opposition member interjected.

Mr M.J. COWPER: The member for Yokine needs to get his mind out of the gutter.

Mr R.C. Kucera: I wasn’t having a shot. I don’t think you realise what you said.

Subject: Road Traffic Amendment Bill 2006 [Legislative Assembly - Second Reading]

Date: 29 November 2006

Hansard reference: pp. 8958b - 8983a [online (pdf)]

Tags: wa, state government, perth, parliament

Making friends for Nigel

HON PETER COLLIER (North Metropolitan) [11.21 am]: The debate on the Daylight Saving Bill (No. 2) 2006 has consumed a considerable amount of time of this house and I do not intend to go through every issue that was raised. There has been an enormous amount of uniformity in the issues that have been presented. I thank members for their contribution to this debate.

Hon Ken Travers: Felsy introduced new arguments.

Hon PETER COLLIER: Arguments on both side of the daylight saving issue are valid. However, an issue such as daylight saving ignites passion like very few others. People feel very passionate about daylight saving. Unfortunately, it impacts upon relationships and friendships. I know that it has seriously tested my friendships.

Hon Ljiljanna Ravlich: It would not mean much.

Hon PETER COLLIER: I am talking about friendships not inside this chamber, but outside the chamber.

Several members interjected.

Hon PETER COLLIER: That is right, I am a Nigel-no-friends. Call me Nigel!

Subject: Daylight Saving Bill (no. 2) 2006 [Legislative Council - Second Reading]

Date: 16 November 2006

Hansard reference: pp. 8335b - 8376a [online (pdf)]

Tags: wa, state government, perth, parliament, daylight saving, dst

Avoiding the temptation of posting just the reply

Mr R.C. KUCERA: [...] When people are reported and the police act on it, 99 times out of a 100 they will admit to the police that this occurred and the necessity to go to court is no longer there. The worst thing we can do to a hoon is not fine him-

Mr R.F. Johnson: Will you move your microphone, because it is rubbing against something?

Mr R.C. KUCERA: I am sorry. I am playing with it.

Mr R.F. Johnson: It sounds like you have indigestion.

Mr R.C. KUCERA: As a matter of fact I have.

Subject: Road Traffic Amendment Bill 2006 [Legislative Assembly - Second Reading]

Date: 29 November 2006

Hansard reference: pp. 8958b - 8983a [online (pdf)]

Tags: parliament, perth, state government, wa

Before Greenough, there was...

MR OMODEI (Warren-Blackwood) [12.53 pm]: It is grand final time again in the lower south west and I have penned the following prose, with apologies to Banjo. It goes like this -


It was somewhere down the country in the land of tall, tall trees,
They formed an institution called “The Lower South West Football League.”
The stock are hard and tough and wiry, the types that never say die,
From stockmen, cauli growers, tree pluckers, spud growers, timbermen, with an odd Greenie thrown in just to have a try.
It is the mill town boys again, Southerners from Pembi, Northcliffe and Quinninup and Deanmill,
From Manji, the Mill and Dingup who will fight this battle royal till they die.
Then there will be the umpires, their eyes dull, their heads flat, with absolutely no brains at all, all trying to ruin the game.
The boys from the tall timber country will make the AFL look tame.
It will be hard and rough and bloody as the struggle ebbs and flows,
The result of the battle still no-one knows.
And all the cracks will gather for the fray,
The oldies from Pembi, there will be Cooda, Foxy, Dan, Luz, Stoich, Ginge and Johnno and maybe Flick and Johnny T. too.
From the Mill there will be Harv, Boomer, Massey, Spiro, Peo, and maybe Cooky and Tutty too, hoping to see the game through.
But when all the dust has settled and the siren sound long gone,
It will be Giaco, Gibbo and the East and Moloney boys fighting for the glory,
Or Della, Gilly, Cozzi, the Ditas and all the Ohs who will be victorious.
And when all the dust has settled and all the supporters gone home,
The Deanmill and the Southerners boys will crack a can or two and reflect upon the game.


I wish brothers Danny and Peter Lunardi all the best for the game on Sunday. I think it will be a great event.

Subject: Lower South West Football Grand Final [Legislative Assembly - Statement]

Date: 20 September 2001

Hansard reference: p. 4126 [online (pdf)]

Tags: wa, state government, perth, parliament, omodei, prose, football

You've heard it before, but it's still amusing

HON SIMON O’BRIEN (South Metropolitan) [11.05 am]: [...] It is argued that this new law will keep people out of the criminal justice system. Yet, the Opposition has already demonstrated in this place and elsewhere that the model for this policy has produced the opposite result in its home jurisdiction of South Australia. No matter how much minor tweaking one does around the edges of that model, it is an egg that cannot be repaired. The Gallop Labor Government continues to be in denial over these matters. Persistence in certain circumstances can be an admirable quality; however, obstinate persistence in the face of overwhelming evidence of folly is not. The following exchange took place off Newfoundland in the North Atlantic in October 1995 between Canadian authorities and the United States Navy. It commenced with the Canadians sending the following signal by radio -

Canadians: Please divert your course 15 degrees to the South to avoid a collision.

Americans: Recommend you divert your course 15 degrees to the north.

Canadians: Negative. You will have to divert your course 15 degrees to the South to avoid a collision.

Americans: This is the Captain of a US Navy ship. I say again, divert your course.

Canadians: No. I say again, you divert your course.

Americans: This is the aircraft carrier USS Lincoln, the second largest ship in the United States Atlantic Fleet. We are accompanied by three destroyers, three cruisers and numerous support vessels. I demand that you change your course 15 degrees North. I say again, that’s one five degrees North, or counter-measures will be undertaken to ensure the safety of this ship.

Canadians: We are a lighthouse. Your call.

The Gallop Labor Government is in charge of the ship of state, and it is heading for the electoral rocks on this matter. It is blind to the warnings of experience. It is deaf to the entreaties of reason. Hon Ljiljanna Ravlich, as the parliamentary secretary representing the minister who has responsibility for this Bill, has tried to interject, and I have ignored her, but I -

Hon Ljiljanna Ravlich: There is no way that we can be heading for the electoral rocks with you in opposition!

The PRESIDENT: Order! I commend the actions of the member who has the call in ignoring unruly interjections.

Subject: Cannabis Control Bill 2003 [Legislative Council - Second Reading]

Date: 14 May 2003

Hansard reference: pp. 7606b - 7622a [online (pdf)]

Tags: wa, perth, parliament, state government, lighthouse, navy

You know they're getting computer savvy when...

Hon SIMON O’BRIEN: Let us go straight to the serious matter of this bill. There is an age-old question of whether the word in the title should be “preventive” or “preventative”. The minister is just bursting to explain why we have gone for the over-the-top, extra-syllabic “preventative” rather than “preventive”, and I look forward to him telling us why, as the committee report asked about it.

Hon Ljiljanna Ravlich: Do they mean the same?

Hon SIMON O’BRIEN: According to the Oxford English Dictionary, it is “preventive”, but Hon Ljiljanna Ravlich should check it on Google.

Hon Ljiljanna Ravlich: No, I’ll leave that with you!

Hon SIMON O’BRIEN: There is never a 12-year-old kid around when one needs one!

The DEPUTY CHAIRMAN: Does the member not know how to google?

Hon SIMON O’BRIEN: I might google but only when it is near the time!

Subject: Terrorism (Preventative Detention) Bill 2005 [Legislative Council - Second Reading]

Date: 22 August 2006

Hansard reference: pp. 4880c - 4899a [online (pdf)]

Tags: parliament, perth, state government, wa, google, definitions

Stumping chance

MR B.K. MASTERS (Vasse) [4.33 pm]: [...] It is my view that the Premier is Western Australia’s equivalent of Shane Warne. Shane Warne is very clever at spin, bearing in mind his 491 test wickets - he will probably take a lot more - but what is happening when neither Shane Warne nor the Premier are on the field? When we look at what they are doing when they are not spinning, so to speak, I think we will understand that both the Premier and Shane Warne are doing things with their messages - in Shane Warne’s case by SMS messages on the phone and in the Premier’s case in a whole range of other ways - that are less than honourable. For example, the Premier in so many of his activities blames everyone but his own Government for the Government’s inability to solve problems and to deal with the important issues of the State. Instead, the Government and the Premier go off and spin into all sorts of different, irrelevant and largely illusory issues.

I do not want to talk in any detail about Shane Warne’s apparent lack of -

Dr G.I. Gallop: I was a leg spin bowler, and I can bowl a wrong’un too.

Mr B.K. MASTERS: “You’re a better man than I am, Gunga Din!” - at least on the cricket field!

I do not wish to comment on Shane Warne’s apparent long-term commitment to his wife, but I note that the Premier in this case should in theory be married to both the union movement and to WA’s working class. However, the Premier and the Australian Labor Party - this Government - are now wedded to anyone who will deliver them green votes and to anyone who is associated with the antidevelopment chardonnay-sipping socialist set. They have left their roots behind. I could make some puns about that, but I will not. Unfortunately I have to accuse the Premier of being WA’s equivalent of Shane Warne.

Mr P.B. Watson: A winner!

Mr B.K. MASTERS: The member for Albany should think about what he is saying. Like the famous cricketer, the Premier’s spin is now being shown for what it really is - a distraction from his real job, which is to govern Western Australia for the betterment of all Western Australians. Unfortunately, on this issue of Ningaloo and Mauds Landing the Premier is spinning, spinning, spinning on a -

Mr R.N. Sweetman interjected.

Mr B.K. MASTERS: Maybe a stump, but he is on a very sticky wicket. I am pleased to say that finally the media is starting to understand the rules by which he plays his game.

Subject: Ningaloo Reef Coastline [Legislative Assembly - Motion]

Date: 13 August 2003

Hansard reference: pp. 9895b - 9918a [online (pdf)]

Tags: wa, state government, perth, parliament, cricket, warnie, spin, gallop

Greenough said...

66. Mr G.A. WOODHAMS to the minister representing the Minister for Education and Training:

Before I ask this question I acknowledge the presence in the public gallery of some of the constituents from the seat of Merredin. I welcome them to the house.

I refer to a media statement of 11 April 2003 in which the previous Minister for Education and Training, Hon Alan Carpenter, promised to “revolutionise remote learning” by installing specialised telecommunication systems in the homes of all children studying through the School of the Air and Schools of Isolated and Distance Education at no cost to families.

[... asks six part question ...]

The SPEAKER: Order! I think most people in this place would consider that question far too long. If the member for Greenough wants detailed answers to questions such as those, he might like to consider putting his questions on notice. I presume notice of the question has been given.

Mr A.J. CARPENTER replied:

Some notice has been given of the question. It is an absolute delight for me to be asked a question by the member for Greenough. Is it the new member for Greenough’s first question in Parliament? I will not bore the house, but I find it interesting. We go back a long way. He was my school captain when I started my first year in high school at Albany High School. An explanation attached to this question is building! He and I have known each other for years; we worked together at the ABC and Channel 7 when it was called TVW 7 - a magnificent place to work in those days. More importantly, we were members of a very inclusive band of supporters of Subiaco Football Club who went to every home and away game. When we were contemplating what were the silliest things to yell out, he rose to the occasion with a cry that has not been surpassed and yelled out - he might want to finish this - “Oobie, doobie” -

Mr G.A. Woodhams: Come on Subi!

Several members interjected.

Mr A.J. CARPENTER: No catchcry has ever taken root like that. It echoes around the grounds of the WAFL today, even though no-one is there to yell it out! The players are waiting for it! Where is it? It was absolutely magnificent.

I asked the member for Greenough to please ask me a question. Consistent with his character, he has asked six questions, none of which I can answer, even though, to be fair, he gave notice at 12.10 pm today! I am no longer the Minister for Education and Training, and I know that is regretted by 25 000-odd state school teachers; they lie awake at night wishing I was back, just as I wish for the echoes of “Oobie, doobie”!

Subject: Home-Based Remote Students [Legislative Assembly - Questions Without Notice]

Date: 7 April 2005

Hansard reference: pp. 551b - 551b [online (pdf)]

Tags: greenough, carpenter, subi, parliament, perth, state government, wa

No tackle, however

MR McGOWAN (Rockingham) [9.32 pm]: I will be handling this Bill on behalf of the Government because the Minister for Agriculture, Forestry and Fisheries is a member of the other place and his representative in this Chamber, his parliamentary secretary, the member for Cockburn, is absent and will not be able to deal with it.

Mr Carpenter: There is something fishy about that.

Mr McGOWAN: That could be true. Maybe he is the one that got away.

Mr Carpenter: Just as long as you do not attempt to gut the Bill; I am only baiting the member and he has taken it hook, line and sinker.

Mr McGOWAN: There is no doubt about that -

Mr Carpenter: What I am afraid of is that he is completely out of his depth.

Mr McGOWAN: There is no doubt that the Minister for Education is all washed up.

Mr Carpenter: What we need here is protection against the sharks in this region, so I hope that that is included in the Bill.

The DEPUTY SPEAKER: The member for Rockingham might like to address the second reading.

Mr Carpenter: He is having a whale of a time.

Mr McGOWAN: I am looking forward to getting on with the Bill. It is very interesting and listening to the Minister for Education -

Mr Carpenter: He might be looking forward to it, but he is behaving like a stunned mullet.

Mr McGOWAN: The Minister for Education is behaving like an old fishwife in his remarks about this Bill.

Subject: Fish Resources Management Amendment Bill 2001 [Legislative Assembly - Second Reading]

Date: 12 December 2001

Hansard reference: p. 7048 [online (pdf)]

Tags: fish, sharks, puns, parliament, perth, state government, wa

I'm guessing you didn't like "budget pie".

Mr F.M. LOGAN: I suggest the member for Greenough shut up; he is a boofhead.

Mr G. Woodhams: Thank you for being polite, member.

Mr F.M. LOGAN: He should just shut up; he is not making sense at all.

Subject: Daylight Saving Bill (No. 2) 2006 [Legislative Assembly - Standing Orders - Suspension]

Date: 31 October 2006

Hansard reference: pp. 7886b - 7952a [online (pdf)]

< insert sound fx here >

Hon PAUL LLEWELLYN: [...] Without exception the debate on the voting system occurred as a line item. I am not drawing too much of a conclusion; I am merely saying that that was the line of inquiry that I undertook. The Greens wrote to the councils that had written to us. We were transparent about the fact that on principle we support proportional preferential voting. However, we told them that we are interested to hear their substantial arguments. When the Standing Committee on Environment and Public Affairs investigates the bill, the various proponents will be able to outline their issues and concerns. Was that the Leader of the House? I hope that Hansard caught that yawn. It was a very deep yawn. I wonder how that will be reflected in Hansard.

Hon Peter Collier: He’s as subtle as a flamethrower!

Hon PAUL LLEWELLYN: I am sorry to have bored the Leader of the House so much! Nevertheless, I will continue with my comments.

Subject: Local Government Amendment Bill 2006 [Legislative Council - Motion (Instruction to Committee of the Whole)]

Date: 23 November 2006

Hansard reference: pp. 8727c - 8743a [online (pdf)]

Tags: state government, wa, perth, parliament, yawn, flamethrower

After the First Test, England might need the Liberal approach...

493. Mr P.B. WATSON to the Minister for Local Government and Regional Development:

Can the minister tell the house whether the sale of Telstra will offer any security of services for Western Australia?

Mr J.J.M. BOWLER replied:

I thank the member for Albany for the question and point out that he looks a bit bleary-eyed. He must have stayed up late last night watching that fantastic contest in which the king of spin bowled his balls down the wicket, with little leg breaks and sliders, and the occasional top spinner, only to be thwarted by one batsman. Members may think I am talking about Shane Warne and Kevin Pietersen, but no, I am talking about the great king of spin in Australia, John Howard, and the one person who will stand up to him, Barnaby Joyce. Barnaby just hits John Howard back over his head. While the rest of the Liberal Party seems to be bamboozled by the king of spin’s little leggies, Barnaby plays them as they are back over his head - another six, Barnaby! While the Liberal Party in Western Australia is playing like Colin Cowdrey and Geoff Boycott, just poking out the pad, occupying the benches and doing nothing, there is Barnaby, just showing them what they can do. I had given up hope for the other side, but all of a sudden over the weekend the former wonder king, Hon Norman Moore, that great batsman from the past - he is past his peak now and probably will not get back into the first XI - suddenly found a bit of form. Suddenly Hon Norman Moore started hitting John Howard; he started saying that he could read his spin and he was going to start hitting the ball for Western Australia. I just hope that the Liberal senators - Judith Adams; Ian Campbell -

A government member interjected.

Mr J.J.M. BOWLER: Exactly - who are they? - Alan Eggleston; Chris Ellison; David Johnston, a former mate of mine from Kalgoorlie; and Ross Lightfoot - will take a leaf out of the batting efforts of Barnaby Joyce and not the Colin Cowdreys on the opposition benches here. They are just occupying the benches. They have not scored a run for a long time. I hope those senators will start doing what they are supposed to do and go in to bat for Western Australia.

Subject: Telstra Sale, Security of Telecommunications Services [Legislative Assembly - Questions Without Notice]

Date: 13 September 2005

Hansard reference: pp. 5157b - 5157b [online (pdf)]

Tags: wa, state government, perth, parliament, cricket, spin, ashes

Actually it's quite desirable for potential developers

Hon ANTHONY FELS: [...] Submissions about those issues ought to be made, considered and addressed before we have daylight saving for three years, and possibly beyond. Referring this bill to the Standing Committee on Legislation will give us that opportunity.

[...]

The committee must also consider the impact that daylight saving will have on migration to Western Australia. [...] One argument that has been presented in favour of daylight saving is that WA now has hundreds of thousands of new Western Australians who were not here 15 years ago. Those people have come from places such as England, which has daylight saving. The committee can determine whether those emigrants would have come to Western Australia if we had daylight saving. It may also consider what other groups of people we might be able to attract to WA. Western Australia is enjoying an unprecedented boom economically; indeed, property values are rising despite the fact that we do not have daylight saving.

Several members interjected.

The PRESIDENT: Order, members! There are too many interjections. Hon Anthony Fels has been given direction about what he can and cannot say. He has been keeping within those reasonable bounds; however, when he has strayed, I have had cause to pull him up. I do not need members to interject and thus prolong the debate unnecessarily.

Hon ANTHONY FELS: Another issue that must be considered is Western Australia’s location in relation to cities in the eastern states. [...] Many cities in the world have daylight saving. Perhaps it is worth looking beyond the convenience of being able to ring someone in Sydney or Melbourne an hour earlier. A committee will be able to consider how daylight saving will impact on our communications with other cities in the world. I note that Baghdad has daylight saving. However, that does not necessarily make Baghdad a great place to live.

Hon Kate Doust interjected.

Hon ANTHONY FELS: Perhaps Hon Kate Doust should be on the committee.

Subject: Daylight Saving Bill (no. 2) 2006 [Legislative Council (second reading)]

Date: 16 November 2006

Hansard reference: pp. 8335b - 8376a [online (pdf)]

Tags: state government, wa, perth, parliament, daylight savings, dst, baghdad

Effervescent, or, more than Greenough?

Ms J.A. RADISICH: [...] It is my opinion that fizzy drinks do not have a place in schools. I am sure some people will disagree with me. Some schools have said that their canteens need to sell junk food and fizzy drinks to make money. It is not an acceptable argument. I put it to the government that if it is the case that this issue is about providing funding to schools rather than what kids are eating, it becomes a separate issue that needs consideration.

Mr A.D. McRae: What sort of fizzy drinks are you talking about?

Ms J.A. RADISICH: I thank the member for Riverton for asking.

Ms K. Hodson-Thomas: Did you prompt him?

Ms J.A. RADISICH: No, I did not. However, he did well.

I looked at the nutritional content, or lack thereof, of some fizzy drinks that currently are available in some schools. It is cause for great alarm, which I will demonstrate. For example, Coca-Cola and Sprite are common drinks that are available to children at some schools, drinks that I am sure many members have ingested on occasion. Members know that Sprite and Coke have a high sugar content. It is something in the order of 16 teaspoons of sugar in just one can of drink. Professor Dingle from Murdoch University has stated that if we stopped drinking two cans of these drinks per day, we would all lose half a kilo per month.

Mr G. Woodhams: I will disappear!

Ms J.A. RADISICH: The member for Greenough needs to keep drinking them, but the rest of us could probably cut back.

Subject: Appropriation (Consolidated Fund) Bill (no. 1) 2006 [Legislative Assembly Second Reading - Cognate Debate]

Date: 17 May 2006

Hansard reference: pp. 2794b - 2848a [online (pdf)]

Tags: parliament, perth, state government, wa, fizzy drinks, soft drinks

Ashes to ashes

Hon PETER FOSS: [...] The House sent this Bill to the Standing Committee on Legislation to make what looked to be an unworkable supplementary notice paper into a workable one. Had the House tried to operate under normal circumstances, it would have been totally perplexed -

Hon Simon O’Brien: Can the minister get that ringing phone for me?

Hon Tom Stephens: My apologies, Mr Deputy Chairman. I think it’s my wife.

The DEPUTY CHAIRMAN (Hon Barry House): Standing Orders are very clear on this issue.

Hon PETER FOSS: I do not know whether that constitutes an interjection, but I am sure it is unruly.

Hon Simon O’Brien: If it is a message from Warnie, I want it tabled.

Subject: Environmental Protection Amendment Bill 2002 [Legislative Council - Committee]

Date: 21 August 2003

Hansard reference: pp. 10329b - 10360a [online (pdf)]

Tags: parliament, perth, state government, wa, warnie, mobile

Greenough is Greenough

Yesterday, the daylight saving bill was finally accepted by the Legislative Assembly. In memoriam of a sane time zone, I thought I'd share another one of the member for Greenough's brilliant compositions:

Mr G. WOODHAMS: [...] During my browsing in the National Gallery of Australia and the National Library, I came across, not unexpectedly, a poem dedicated to daylight saving. It was written by that well-known poet or poetess - not Dorothea Mackellar. The poem is called I Love A Sunburn Daily -

The love of beaches and stubbies
Of chardonnays by the pool
And doing deals in Sydney
With Coles and Woolies too
Strong love of wearing raybans
While driving in your Govvie car
I know but cannot share it
Because this time you’ve gone too far

See I love a sunburn daily
An extra hour will not work
The last time we were asked to try it
We were still recovering from Premier Burke
I love my faded curtains
And cows producing latte
My clock on Western Standard Time
And more bloody hours at Bunnings on Sunday

The tragic Labor government
And those swingers Matt and Johnny D
Long lunches with revenge intent
Giving Eric an extra hour to spend our surplus. Free.
Let the Greens tangle in the upper house
Where the Ljiljannas coil,
And trendies deck the lounges
After a hard day’s toil

Core of my heart, my rolex
Her ticking body so sweet
Mum and Dad rolling around in the morning
There’s a scene hard to beat

Mrs D.J. Guise: That’s too much information!

Mr G. WOODHAMS: Members will read into this bill what they want to read into it; that is what I have been hearing throughout the debate! The poem further reads -

But then the clockheads gather
And we can bless again
The dopey daylight savers
Who haven’t got a brain

Core of my heart, my cheap imitation bought in Thailand Rolex
In this land that time forgot
An extra hour every day,
And Carpy wants the lot.
We now have one fat time zone
All lined up with the Congo
Even the Mandurah line can run on time
With Alannah the Station Master keeping time on the bongo

The filmy veil of woopy weed
That thickens in the air
Pot smokers another hour to burn and indulge in vacant stare.
A summer of endless daytime
No clock to hold her back
This wilful, lavish land sucking mid strength
Can’t catch a taxi, mate they’re enjoying the sunset at Cottesloe
And the flag fall will set you back.

Mr Acting Speaker, this is the last, I think very important, verse of one of Dorothea’s lost poems -

All you who have not loved her,
Daylight savers You don’t understand -
Though sunburn holds many splendours,
And of it when I die,
I know to what Time Zone
My homing thoughts will fly.

Mr Acting Speaker, I am in an emphatic mode; maybe you did not gather that. Maybe some of the soft-headed modernists, as I refer to them, on either side of the house do not understand it, either.

There was a forum in ancient Rome, during the Roman Empire, known as the senate, in which there were several Caesars. Members may know about the senate and about Caligula, who appointed his horse as his successor emperor.

Mr R.C. Kucera: A bit like the leadership of the Liberal Party!

Mr G. WOODHAMS: The member may be correct, and I will not dispute him on that note.

Subject: DAYLIGHT SAVING BILL (NO 2) 2006 (WA Legislative Assembly)

Date: Tuesday, 31 October 2006

Hansard reference: pp. 7886b - 7952a (online (PDF))